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I am a lost soul
Apr 3, 2011
I have been haveing this ongoing problem for some time now. I am a lost soul when it comes to relationships and social side of life. Other aspects of my life I have taken care of quite well, but this social part of things is destroying me. I am getting older, I have less and less friends, I fear that I will never meet a girl, and I live more and more isolation. Sometimes I get really drunk and go out to the bars in attempt meet people our find a girl..I know it is a horrible idea. Just receantly after long haul of non-stop work I had a night out on my own..which started out ok, but ended up with me at a strip club. Not proud of this. I spend the whole next day sleeping through the pain all of the alcohol and guilt of going to a strip club and paying for some things. I had meet a girl earlier in the night and got her phone number....but from what I remeber in the outing she said she had a boyfriend but didnt really like him. I didnt really want to get involved in that. Anyways what I am looking for it a different lifestyle. I want to stop drinking, partying, doing things of low value(go out alone, going to strip clubs). I want to have a good social circle with some good freinds, and I want a girlfriend that may possibly turn into something more. I have been trying to become more religious and spirtual and I believe in it but obviously have not been living it, which I feel bad about. Like I say I just feel lost, and dont know what to do with myself. I live in a foreign country and wont be back to the US for 2 more yrs. I am grateful for the travel that I have and the work that I have but those social part of my life is killing me. I just am a lost soul..

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