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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I'm 24 next month. She's turning 21 this fall. We met randomly 6 months ago and hung out a few times and after a couple weeks we had sex and spent the night and realized we really enjoyed eachothers company. She made it clear we were not in a relationship and were more just friends with-benefits. Slowly things got deeper and deeper and we became bf/gf and this is my first serious relationship and the first girl i really ever loved and most importantly the first girl that has ever really loved me. I had sex with many girls through my teens but was always used and got the (i'm not looking for a bf right now). She admitted to me in the beginning she has some emotional problems and was skeptical about me being with her since i was soooo (perfect) and she was not.

Apparantly her dad was never really a part of her childhood. He was there but just a true workaholic. She says he never even hugged her, took her out for father/daughter days, never bought her birthday gifts. May i add she is russian and moved here at the age of 9. I know things are quite different on the other side of the world and i've heard about russian fathers and how they do not show love and work themselves to death. She also said through her teens she completly acted out with the wrong group of friends and was heavily involved in the "clubbing" scene between 17-19. Her and her underage friends would get themselves inebriated and take home random guys, she stated shes been with about 25 men and they were almost all 1 night stands and says that she just really enjoys sex and wanted to do it although she does look back at those years with regret and admits she was young and careless but shes reformed now. She first did it at 16 which is the same age i did. Although i didn't have regular intercourse till i was 19 and up.


Anyway she starts fights with me over the littlest of things and is very controlling. Once a month we've had a big fight over something and she ends up telling me "oh it's ok, you can go see other people you know i've got my problems and you should'nt have to deal with them and i don't mind if you find someone else" this first shocked me but latly it comes out occasionally and i've just taken it as her insecurity stemming from daddy issues as he never shown approval in his daugher when she needed it most. Shes been very unloyal to all her past partners and always initiated a break up or cheated on them within 1 month or 2. I'm the longest she's ever been with a guy and she says i'm the best/nicest, most caring, best in bed, best looking etc..

Last saturday we had plans to go for dinner and we get there and i really wasn't feeling well, my stomach was bugging me and i wasn't hungry. I told her she can eat that i will just have a few drinks and i was perfectly fine with staying there. She stormed out of the restaurant and said take me home. This has happened more than once and i always save the relationship and fix everything and make her happy but this time i said screw it. So i didn't say much and drove her home. 2 days later she txts me saying shes sorry she was really rude to me and that i didn't deserve that treatment, and that shes really stressed from school/exams and she wants to take a break to regain some balance in her life. I asked what she meant by balance and she said she really loves me but hates constantly getting mad at me so she needs some time to think things over and is considering breaking up. Mainly for my sake since she keeps telling me shes got unsolved issues and needs to work on herself emotionally.

Shes told me she was effed up since the beginning and i relate it to her father. We have such amazingly good times together but we can't go a month without her getting upset over the smallest thing. Then she gets embarassed and doesn't want to confront it because she knows she was acting stupid so she tells me maybe we shouldn't be together like shes getting herself ready for me to leave her. But i don't want to leave, i want to try to fix her, the good definitly outweighs the bad here but it's like i'm walking on eggshells with her. She said she used to drink and screw a lot of random guys and she was hospitalized for lime diesease for a few months but that was before i met her.

In the beginning i was shocked because she practially jumped me the first time she came over without a condom too. She is oblivious to condoms. I'm very lucky i never got her pregnant. Shes going to med school and is a great student. What would posess a girl to have sex with random guys without condoms I mean thats the stupidest thing you could do. I told her before shes lucky she never got an std. One thing i always wondered about her was she is very liberal about sex. She will grope me in public places in front of people. She will talk loudly in public about having sex. I believe shes a sex addict cause any night we spend together we'll do it roughly 4 times and she always wants to grope me. When shes drinking it gets 10x worse. She likes to have sex in public places too.



She also stated she used to date an older man. 8 years older and she was in the process of ending things with him and for some reason went to his condo. [she agreed to some sex but he forced himself on her] But she knew him "they dated for 3-4 months so i don't know how traumatizing of an experiance it could've been. Thes the oldest child with 2 young siblings. What could be the reasons behind her ups and downs???
I am starting to think she could be mildly Bi-polar or manic-depressive or have some other emotional disorder. I want to stay with her but she keeps telling me she doesnt' deserve me and i should find someone else who won't start fights all the time and that shes got issues. Advice pleaassseee and i'm really sorry about the length. I'm a quick typer and kind of letting it all out.





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