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Hello everyone,

I apologize if this turns out to be a big post but I feel as if I should post details.

before I start, I want to say that this may not be pretty. I realize what I have done was a mistake and will never do it again, yes I'm an idiot and everything else in the book. With that said, let me explain my dilemma.

I have this X who was friends with my sister before I started dating her. I dated her back in 03 and it lasted for about 1.5 yrs or so (this was 8 years ago). It was a really bad breakup, she cheated on me, turned lesbian, then back. Anyway, I dated a few girls after her. one relationship actually lasted almost 3 years. We kind of became friends and were on on off friends. We would talk and stop talking for months maybe yrs. When I was in my last relationship I started talking to this X again, she had a boyfriend at the time, and we would text sexual messages back and forth, but no bad intentions. Nothing EVER happened with this X after the breakup 8 years ago. EVER, not even a kiss or a touch or ANYTHING.

Then I met my current GF. I introduced this X to my GF as my X. I was being upfront and everything. she told me before we started dating that she didn't want any X's involved and that if I ran into one or one contacted me to let her know. I agreed and she agreed as well. She had heard of this X through my sister, as she's my sisters best friend. But she only knew her as my sisters best friend. She got a little uncomfortable but nothing happened.

I've been dating my GF for almost 2 years now. Everything is just PERFECT. Rarely argued over anything. About a year ago, She was going through my phone bill, and found out that i was messaging this X. So one year into the relationship with my current girlfriend, she went through the phone records (ATT apparently keeps a very very detailed log) and went back to the very beginning of our relationship, and saw that i texted this particular number a lot! she asked me who's number that was and i told her it was this X's number. She then wanted to see the messages. (I have an iphone so it keeps a log, and apparently when u back up ur phone it saves everything even sms records). I told her I didn't have them because i had deleted her messages from my phone. She went through my computer and found the backup of the messages from that time, and saw all the messages. SO for the first 3 - 4 months of the relationship with my current GF, I was still talking to this X in the same manner as I have been for a while (i.e. sexual messages and stuff, I wont get too detailed). My current GF read ALL of them.

Now in the messages you can clearly tell that I slowly cut down on those messages on my own. and started getting a little cold towards this X. But regardless the damage was done. This X would contact me a lot to help her with her computer purchases and what not. Mind you she HAS A BF she's in a 4 year relationship with him, however, my GF and I both know for a fact that she has cheated on him (we both found out through my sister).

So my Current GF broke up with me over this, Contacted this X's BF and sent him a copy of the messages. So now my X hates me (which I can care less about) and I feel like she maybe doing this as a revenge (her and her bf were able to work it out). I convinced my GF that it's no longer the case and she believes me. NOW the dilemma is this. This X is constantly at my parents house my sister moved to NY so she would come every sunday to hang out with my mom. My GF, understandably, did not like that idea. I spoke to my parents about this and how much this is hurting me and affecting me mentally, emotionally, and physically. They told me that they would tell me whenever she's there so I don't have to be around her. I agreed, and my GF thought it was fair. One day my GF and I are hanging out at my house, and My sister, who was visiting from NY, came through the door with this X of mine. It made everything really uncomfortable, because they didn't tell me, and not only that, she had the nerve to just bring her there, WHILE I WAS THERE. Anyway, my GF got really upset and broke up with me, yet again. I spoke to my family again and told them this isn't working and that they're not keeping their word. I told them I'm moving out and will not be coming to the house as long as they are still in contact with her. So I moved and got my own place in November.

I told my GF that my parents promised me to cut her off so I promised her that this X will be out of my life for good. She believed me and everything was good and got back together. In January, my GF moved in with me so now we are living together. last month, my family invited me and my GF over for dinner. On our way there, I get a message from my family saying for me to take my time getting there because this X just showed up unannounced. I got really upset, freaked out and deleted the messages. Somehow, my GF felt it and knew i deleted the messages but didn't say anything to me. We got there and everything was fine, but I was still upset.

2 weeks ago, my sister called me and told me she was coming in May for my younger sister's birthday and that she wanted to see me not like last time. I told her as long as that X of mine is with her I will not. My GF was there at the time and heard the whole thing. Naturally, she got Really upset, and said that she just couldn't deal with this anymore and that my "curse here" X will always be around and that she doesn't want to be the third person. Then she brought up the messages I deleted when going to dinner at my parents, and how I broke my promise to her that the X would be out of our lives for good. I really didn't break my promise. I made that promise based on my family's promise. She broke up with me, told me she was going to meet someone new and start fresh. She still lives with me and I found out she started talking to a few guys online. Yet we still act like we're a couple. I got really upset and said she's acting like a "whore" which I shouldn't have but I was really hurt seeing all those messages between her and those guys. Now I know how she felt when she read MY messages. She still lives with me but plans on moving out soon.

NOW, I come to the conclusion of this topic and this is where I need a miracle and need someone's help. This issue is obviously WAY BEYOND my control. I really love my GF and she loves me too. I know she's hurt. But I made a mistake TWO years ago and haven't repeated it since, and will never EVER repeat it. I can't get my parents to drop my X and my X will NOT go away. My GF says as long as this X is in my life she will NEVER be with me. (She's not in my life, only in my family's life, but I guess since my family is in mine, so is the X).

Sorry for the long post. And please I don't mean to be rude, but I know what I've done and my mistakes. No need to rub it in my face, I just need some REAL working advice.

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