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Hi msanad, :(

This is for advice, not to rub it in your face.

No offense intended, but I think it is perfectly unreasonable to blame your girlfriend for not trusting you now. How she feels about your cheating won't go away soon, simply because she should never accept cheating from you or anyone else. That pain doesn't go away just because you are sorry and say you won't do it again. Meaning well isn't the same as doing well. What is she supposed to believe, your words or your history? History screams much louder than words, so now it's up to you to build a trustworthy history if she will allow it. And she doesn't owe you that, so if you don't want to lose her you have to convince her by your actions that you will do whatever it takes to earn her trust.

There is no reason to have ever hidden anything that was not your fault. For instance, if you discovered the ex was going to be somewhere you could just simply say, then we won't be there, and make other plans. But that you tried to hide it makes it objectionable. There is nothing wrong with telling your family that this has nothing to do with girlfriends, that YOU don't want to be around the ex, and that they need to know they are choosing between you and the ex, that you will leave if that woman is there. Then you have to just leave without a scene. Somehow all of you are creating this drama, and I don't blame the current girlfriend for wanting free of it, or for getting to know other men. But I do think she should have the courtesy to move out first. She may think why should she, since you indulged while she was there. but IMHO neither of you doing it is right.

That you (may have) stopped the sexting is good, but this old girlfriend of yours is way too much baggage. Not because of the current girl friend's insecurity but because you made the old girlfriend the major issue of your life. If you just had gone about your life, and ignored her presence and quit talking about her or thinking about her, none of this would be an issue. But you never let go of her yourself. Now it will take time to prove to everyone that you moved on. This isn't about the ex, current girlfriend, your family or even the old girlfriend. This is all about you, what you want, what you feel, who you are.

Don't burden the current girlfriend that somehow she is betraying you by not trusting you. Be honest and admit you deserve to be distrusted; you proved it. If you want to accept the burden of your own making, that YOU lost her trust by trying to hide things, then and only then is there any kind of hope for true reconciliation. This current girlfriend is not being a drama queen at all. I'm sure if she was here telling her story with you that no one would be calling her that. She legitimately does not trust you. We would probably tell her to run, not walk away from you.

But there is hope if you fully own up to your scoundrel actions. You can't just say it won't happen again, you have to show it. The only hope for this to work is if you make your life an open book to the current girlfriend, letting her look at your phone and internet records, etc. and agree to do whatever it takes to earn the trust back.

If you expect her to carry even a tiny speck of responsibility for what you did against her, or believe she should just forgive and get over it, the relationship with you is not worth waiting for. You created the mess by inappropriate involvement with a woman you never let go of, and you need to clean it up yourself. It's your making, not your family's or the girlfriends' making. And of course it will take time to prove you can be trusted, since you proved you can't. But it's not at all impossible. You have to own what you did and stop blaming others. Then in time it will all die down. But their timing, not yours. I know it stinks, but it's your hmm hmm hmm. I think you know what I mean.

If you really are an honorable guy, you have to be honest and take full responsibility for the mess you made. I believe you can get respect back if you do take full responsibility, stop acting like a player, and you remain consistent.

I hope you do. :wave:





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