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I looked up some symptoms and I am not entirely sure if my husband is bipolar, depressed or has bipolar depression. I want to help him but I don't know if he will let me...

Here is a back story, sorry if it is long.

I met my husband originally online around September of 2009. We were just friends until he asked me out February of 2010. I moved across the country for him in April of the same year. I lived by myself until June when he moved in with me. Then we got married in December.

He's told me time and time that he's been fighting depression for many years. He had a very rough upbringing. His mother has never really been there for him, she was always doped up on drugs and sleeping around with different men. And his father died when he was 10. His sister ended up getting guardianship and custody of him when he was 13.

He says he still has suicidal thoughts but he thinks he would get better if we were to separate.. He throws it in my face that we moved too fast, that he is too young (he is 20 and I am 23) and he wants to just have fun. He also hates that he feels whenever he gets paid it all goes to waste on bills and rent.. Which is not entirely true, yes most of the time we don't always have a lot of money leftover but there are a couple weeks out of the month where we do.

And I do very much realize that he is young and that we did move too fast. I also hate that we don't always have a lot of money to go out all the time and have fun. But I feel that responsibilities is just a part of life.. I would have never married him if I didn't feel it was right and that I truly loved him. Marriage is not something I take lightly and neither is divorce. I firmly believe in "til death do us part". I also asked him many times before we got married and even the day of the marriage if he was ready. He told me over and over "yes". I don't know how to feel... It's like have I been lied to the entire time???

Tonight he said we were over and that we are going to get divorced. This is not the first time this has happened. Last month the same thing happened. I brought him to work and when I picked him up he was fine and we worked things out. Well apparently tonight I find out he said he was lying just to make me happy... He is at work right now and I have no clue if he will come home and apologize and say everything will be alright and then next month this happens again. It seems to be happening once every month around the same time or so it seems from what I can remember.

I love him so much and I do not want to be without him. I want to help him and I believe that if we split up he will not get the help he needs. He says he doesn't wanna be on meds but I think it's truly the only thing that can help him. Because apparently I just cannot make him happy... Or so he says when he is in his moods. He seems to be a completely different person, it's like I can't reach out to him or connect with him. It's like he's not even there...

I want to be selfish and stay with him so I can be happy, but at the same time it would not be fair to him. Why stay with him if he is going to be unhappy? He says "it's not you, it's me" and he doesn't want to drag this on for longer than it has to and that he doesn't wanna bring me down with him... Last time I begged and cried for him to stay and told him to lie to me if he had to. This time I kind of gave up and let him have his way.

I don't know what will happen when he gets home in the morning. What should I do if it's like last time and he apologizes and tells me everything will be OK and he will get better? But he doesn't? Is it safe for me to get him help? And what if he doesn't apologize and we do split up... I still want him to get help even if I can't be there to do it for him.

Thanks to anyone for support.

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