It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hi, I didn't know what do anymore since I feel like I am in a bad time in my life.

Well, let me start off to say that this is about my relationship. I'm nineteen and I am engaged. I've been with my fiancÚ for three years. It's going to be four in July. I feel like I don't feel the same about him like I used to. I feel like everything is changing between us and that I don't have that same 'head over heels' feeling I have for him.

We went through a lot. I'll admit to you guys, I did cheat on him about a year and a half ago. And I told him and we did go on a break for a while, but we got back together. But after that, our relationship changed. I felt like it was my fault for the reason why he is being like this, but he basically is starting to ask me more about what I do when I go out with friends, and calling me and texting me more while I'm out. And it's becoming really overwhelming.

Last week, I told him that I was going to a party and he basically freaked out on me. He started to become depress when I mentioned going to the party. I decided that I didn't want to go if he was going to be depressed, but he told me that I could go. So I did go.

To be honest, it was my first time going out in months. Since every time I told him that I was going out with my friends, he got upset with me so I would cancel.

Now, another thing to mention, we're in a long distance relationship since he is going to a different college than me. So I don't spend time around him physically. We do get to visit each other, which is fun, but the last time I visited him, I felt odd because he acted strangely with me.

Before I go into that though, he came to visit me last summer and it was fun the first couple of days, but after that, his mood became foul and when we were with friends, he said the most...inappropriate stuff to my friends.

[LIST]
[*]Calling one of my friends a faggot.
[*]One of my friends was wearing a german dress for fun, and he commented about how she would be raped with that she was wearing where he lived.
[/LIST]

I felt horrible that he did that. I apologized to them and he apologized, but they weren't have it. Luckily, they are giving him a second chance when he comes back this summer, but I don't know if I want them to meet him since the reason why he was even acting like that was because he was off his medicine. I don't want to make it sound like an excuse, but it is true. Since he has both ADHD and ADD.

I know this is a lot stuff to mention, but, there's just a lot of problems that is coming up.

Like when I visited him, he was alright with me. He was much nicer and that foul mood didn't come up again. But, he was rough with me. And when I mean rough, I'll give you examples. At one point, he would always like to kiss me, which is cute, but he would grab my arm and pull me down to kiss him if he was laying on the bed, which he left bruises on my arm when he did. I told him to be lighter with me, but he would tell me that he would, but he continued to do it anyways. Especially when his medicine is wearing off, he becomes rougher. And when it comes to sex, he is very rough to the point that it hurts. So I wouldn't be all that accepting to sex with him when he asks to do it.

I feel like I am jumping around and stuff, which I don't mean to, but I'm just bringing up stuff that seem to be off to me.

At one point, I had a guy friend who we've been friends since we were 6. And I told my fiance that he used to be in love with me, but I have told him that we wouldn't be in a relationship because I told my guy friend that I didn't want to be. But when I told my fiancÚ that, he got upset with me and told me to stop talking to him. Which I did.

The one thing that bothered me was that he had been in a relationship previously with his best friend (who is female) and still remains to be her friend. But when he talked to her on phone (when he was with me), he would always leave the room. Why that bothers me is because if I did that, he would follow me.

For me, I would admit that I tend to be harsh with him too. That I would complain that he is out to too late with his friends, but I have since stopped that because I realized it was unreasonable since we spend every day with each other over the phone.

Another thing that bothers me is that when we have issues, he doesn't talk to me directly about them. Or if he feels like I am hiding something, he doesn't talk to me directly. In fact, he "friended" my friends on FB and he would sometimes talk to them and ask them what I do or what we are doing if we are going out. And it bothered me deeply because it feels like he doesn't come to me about anything and just attempts to get information out of them even though he can ask me since I don't have anything to hide.

Maybe this is all too much to comprehend or something, but I feel like with all of these issues, that I don't feel like we're the same couple we used to be. Like when I cheated on him, it had set a course of doom in our relationship and no matter what I do is never going to change that..

:(

What should I do..?





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:48 PM.





© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!