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Re: Family
May 22, 2011
no, CadenceA, ive always seen my family once a week nothing changed in that way. they got work so i couldnt see them all the time and at weekends on friday and saturday they would go out with there friends and sunday family dinner and i would go everytime. ive started going on a tuesday now i travel to there house. i have my own place now. no i didnt get back with aaron.

Thank you sunnyrise for your reply and others too.

Sunnyrise , so sorry you went through a horrible thing like that how on earth can a mother take your brothers side when he could of killed you. Oh i know too well about emotional scars but there is one good thing though that comes with it which is that never in a million years would i EVER treat a person or a child the way my family have treated me and makes me wiser by observing there behaviour it makes me more loving but also been too loving gets me into trouble aswell like loving someone way above myself. I do have some good qualitys about myself and feel like listing a few.....i am 100% faithful, caring, can't treat someone like they are nothing , i'd be a great mother one day , i care about feelings and i am a type of person that won't go ''oh i have had it hard lets go get drunk and do some drugs and say its your fault mum''...i always want to keep strong and sane and not let anything or anyone destroy me to the point where i'd end my life or drink and do drugs.

My mum said to me last week that she was proud of me , she was telling her friend that ''most of her friends do drugs and she has been to there partys been surrounded by it and she doesnt touch any of it'' ...she was complimenting me and it felt good. I was really touched as my mums always put me down. Believe it or not we are close , we see eachother more often but like i say it still goes on that they dont seem interested in me much and what i do in my life, and i am not going to hold it against them but the way i am today is kind of there fault ....fear of humiliation, embarrassment, no confidence, anxiety, poor self image, feel not worth anything. I can just imagine my mum saying in her head ''oh well its only you no one important'' when i try talk to her about issues or if anything bad happens to me or im upset. Nowadays i dont ever goto my parents if i am upset anymore it feels pointless.

Heres a few examples : My dad once said ''dont apply for any jobs that need high skills , your not that bright so you should just be a cleaner''....

laughed down phone when miscarried and said ''well it was for the best''

another time i was pregnant my mum was HORRIBLE to me and was bitching about me to other family members and she bullied me too . i think she had jealousy issues because she could never have children she adopted me and my brother at a young age (1 and 2)

i got kicked out of a hostel at 16 years of age and my dad said ''well you and ya new boyfriend will have to keep eachother warm on the streets''...i got kicked out from the hostel because i got offered a new place from the housing place but it was in a very violent area so i turned it down and no one told me the hostel rules that if you turned a place down they dont have a duty to care for you anymore no one ever told me.

one of my ex's was very violent almost killed me and my parents knew it was going on i was like 18 at the time and they did nothing to take me away from it , the domestic violence homes was full of women at the time so i couldnt stay there either. i had no contact with friends was completely stuck.

theres toooooooooooo many i could say but it would be way too long.

another thing....my biological parents. my biological father is a well known paedophile and i have 20 + half siblings out there that was abused aswell. apparently they was suspicious i was abused but not enough evidence but he definately abused my brother. my bioloigcal mum never wanted a daughter ever so she hit me around when i was a baby and me and my brother was taken away from them. i spoke to biological mother about a year ago (gave her a chance to tell her side of the story) wanted to know what happened and she told me and then told my brother ''i dont want to speak to cassie (me) anymore i never wanted a daughter i only wanted a son'' ...now none of us speak to her. we have closure on the past we know what happened when we was babys and we dont care about it.





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