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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=rosequartz;4763256]I understand your pain.....
i was married to my soulmate and it ended badly after 15 years of being together....but I knew why....he was unmedicated bi-polar in denial, emotionally and verbally abusive, and I wasn't willing to bring children into the relationship under those circumstances, and he desperately wanted a child. Do you know why your left? Did he give you a reason? That piece of info, which you never really got into in your post, is paramount....it will help your responses and advice be a little more accurate....can you share it with us?
Also, when my husband left me I was beyond devastated, afraid to be alone, afraid I couldn't survive emotionally, financially, every way.....but I did....
and I'm stronger for it. I actually got to the point that I liked being alone, I enjoyed my own company, I enjoyed not having to compromise on anything.
don't worry, alone isn't that back, you have more options that way.[/QUOTE]


rosequartz - he said he is ending the relationship because we have nothing in common. we do have things in common. the problem is, he is a recovering addict. he no longer uses but he quit on his own. he has never dealt with his addictions and chemical dependancys. he is no longer addicted to drugs but has substitued it with other things - like riding his motorcycle or surfing the net. i try to be involved with him on those things like riding his motorcycle with him, but he isn't interested. he likes to ride alone. so i stay at home with his son and he goes riding. also, we live together in my house which is in the middle of town. he has a house, which needs to be completely gutted or torn down, in the middle of the woods. he said he can't stand living in town anymore. he likes privacy and being able to go outside and see no one. so he has moved back home. i told him that was fine. i want him to be wherever he wants to be. but we can still continue our relationship even if we do not live together. he said it wouldn't work.

as i stated before, he will say i love you more than anyone, you are the most important person to me and the most influential person. so i don't get it. i asked him if he was seeing someone else. he says he isn't. he says he doesn't want me out of his life - he wants us to be friends. i asked him if we might get back together. he just says i don't know. i don't think so.

he has moved to his house. but still has some things here. he will stop by every couple of days to get things. or his son wants to come over so they do. this kills me. i want to hug and kiss him when i see him but he won't let me. during the couple of days i do not see him, i get stronger. then he shows up and it takes me back to the first day - of sobbing hysterically.
for me, it is the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical part i miss. we lived financially independent from one another during our whole relationship.

from the first time i saw him 18 years ago until this very second, i have always said we were meant to be. there is something that connects us - i dont' know what it is, i don't know why we are supposed to be together but we just are. he has always said the same thing. my mom moved not to long ago and gave me some of my things - 1 being my baby box. my boyfriend sat with me as i went thru it. inside was a sheet of paper that had a girls name and a boys name. the girls name was mine and the boys name was his. if i had been a boy, i would have had his name.
then in the baby box, we found the newspaper for the week i was born. on the front page, it had a picture of trees on it. the picture was black and white of course but talked about the beautiful colors of the fall leaves. the picture was of my boyfriends grandfathers property from 38 years ago. how weird is that? we both thought that was the most ironic thing. and it convinced us more that we are soulmates.

so i do not know why he is ending the relationship. he contradicts himself at times.





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