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Okay, so me and my ex dated for over a year. I fell hard for him very quickly, however it took him a little longer to realize what he had in front of him before it was too late. I was 18 at the time, he was 24. I would pretty much drop everything for him, I was so in love. It wasnt until I turned 19 that he finally straightened up and turned himself around. I know most guys cant change, but he did. You could tell he was completely in love with me and would do anything for me. He talked about having me move in to his place down the road, however, me being 19 I wasnt ready to commit to that just yet. I began going out and resented the past. Its strange how I never had the strength to break it off when things were rough, but as soon as they’re turning great I start to look back and resented him for a lot that had happened. I thought I was falling out of love with him, and he believed we were moving backwards (was no longer staying for long periods of time at his place, would go out without him) so we broke it off.

In the meantime I had begun catching up with an old friend who I knew through one of my best girl friends. I’ve known him for years but never really hung out much. We started dating almost immediately after me and my ex broke up and have been together now for almost 2 years. He is turning 24, I am 21. We have been living together for a year and a half, and things have been great. We have traveled together, he gets along great with my family, we talk about marriage in the future when I am finished with my degree.

However.. the past few months I have been constantly thinking about my ex. I knew I would always have feelings for him, but the last few months have been completely heart wrenching. We remained in contact after the breakup and although I havent seen him in person in almost two years, we still text almost everyday. Strange thing is, he started dating someone new right after out breakup as well and have been together ever since and are also now living together. I have never met her, but I know she gets along well with his family and had many mutual friends with my ex. I think the main part that upsets me, is how much better I know he treats her. And how much he learned from his relationship with me to be a better person. Im jealous that he had to break my heart to know how to be a great boyfriend.

I have never fallen out of love with my ex. However I do not regret our decision to break up, for at the time it was what was needed. However, I wish I hadnt found such a great guy so quickly after and had time to myself to see if we just needed a break or if things were truely over.

Its been almost 2 years now since we broke up, and him now being 27 scares me… for even though I am happy with my new man, there has always been a part of me that thought.. maybe one day.. we would get back together. Now, with him being 27, new gf 24, Im scared of him settling down and getting married. Part of me wishes he would just tell me shes “the one” and I could somehow get closer and let go of that part of me that is still attached to him. I know he still cares for me as well, for he wouldn't keep in contact with me the way he does. However, I also know he probably loves his new gf very much, the same as me and my new man.

Im completely confused right now, I dont want to leave my man, I know he doesnt want to leave his gf but I cant stop thinking about him. Its at the point where I cant even enjoy the time with my new man because I am still hung up on everything. I feel nauseous and depressed. I am unhappy and feel sick most of the day for its all I've been able to think about. Is it better to just cut ties forever (delete off phone, fb, etc.) or remain friends and only friends for who knows what could happen in the future?

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