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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


What kind of person does this? A grown man at that? I've had time to sit and review the course of our relationship and after the angry response of "that bitch is crazy", I realized I was dating someone who was bipolar.

Now, the guy said that he experiences depression from time to time but he never said he was manic depressive or bipolar. Some people don't like labels but they are important in describing the severity of a condition...I'd like to think.

Is it fair for me to be angry when this guy is a mental health professional himself? When we'd speak, he was emotionally not there and would say that he was simply speechless. I could not help but wonder how the heck he was managing in his career. I didn't date him because of his professional status at all but there came a point where you had to wonder where all those wonderful communication skills went.

I think I took his illness more seriously than he did. I think I expected him to be more responsible than he was because of his age and experience. I expected that a man that understood the importance of communication would be able to, well, communicate. The relationship left me damaged in the self-esteem department. It wasn't what he said per se but being around him brought me down a bunch of notches.

I've bounced back from worse relationships but this one hit a nerve. I no longer have patience for people who want to pretend that they are ok when they're not. If something has the potential to have a negative impact on a relationship, why not say something? Why waste the time and emotions? I felt I've been played in a way. I was upfront about everything and anything that I knew would be an issue so as to work on whatever we could or part ways. I expected the same in return.

I feel like he led me on. He knew what I was looking for from day one and I had to pull teeth to find out where he felt the relationship was going for him. He was hard to reach which was something that everyone around him complained about. He's talk about his previous marriage and how she was the one who had the affair. As a woman, I'm not excusing her behaviour but at the same time, you have to wonder what, if anything influenced her behaviour. Then there was the psychotic ex who runs around telling people negative stories about him. Once again, a red flag. I believe that there's always truth to the reactions of women. I get it now. I understand why his ex cheated and I understand why the other ex was compelled to tell what she felt was the truth about him.

Were the meds not working? How could he think his meds were working? He's pour salt into his beer and say that his doc said he needs more salt. It sounds stupid but at that time, manic depressive and bipolar weren't on my radar. Either way, a week after visiting his family he sends me a one liner email saying things aren't working out because of things that had nothing to do with me.

From now on, I'm going to ask people if they are bipolar or manic depressive or whatever because apparently you do have to spell it out. No one is going to be upfront about mental health I suppose. I can respect someone that owns their illness. I excuse those that lack the capacity to do so but in this case, I don't believe he lacked the capacity to know how his illness was and would continue to effect his quality of life and our relationship. That's where my anger comes from.

The breakup was for the best. I don't think he could handle it all. I don't think it was doing anything but bring me down. I hope he changes his medications and gets a bit more serious about his condition for his own sake. I'm angry at him for his behavior and sad for him because of his pathetic attempt to act like his condition was nothing serious.





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