It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half going on 3 years now. i want to start off by saying, i really dont care about my girlfriends past, nor what she does, im really open about this relationship. Mainly because i dont care for relationships. I just truly love this girl. When we got together originally shes way different then she is now, i know this goes for everyone, cause things in life change you and we've been through alot, and living with someone changes you, you change on a daily basis, im not dumb. When we got together tho, she was proud of her um sexual adventures, because well i was just another. the more time we spent together we decided this buddy thing might as well become real cause the feelings seemed it, and we couldnt control them anymore. I didnt used to grill her on her past, but she was open back then and would bring up her sexual past up, just in stories. I noticed after we started dating that the stories would change, and all of a sudden things she mentioned before would be left out, and if i asked about it, i was told they never happened, and a fight would ensue. all i care about in truth is honesty. after weeks would go by from a certain lie, she would come kind of clean, but she "wouldnt remember" the infamous "i dont know" what i did 2 days ago or who i was with or what took me 4 hours to get home from somewhere 30 minutes away. we would fight and argue and id go to end it, but i care too much to leave, im not going to let something in the past break up the relationship, and thats how she looks at it. what was affecting me was the lies. i eventually just dropped the topic and let it go for the past 2 years that we've been living together. with me left never knowing the truth on any of these stories, and the lies and my trust shattered. just recently ive been forced into dealing with some of the dudes in her past and they have a bad history, after some stuff went down things were left on bad terms and my girl just stopped talking to them. this has caused her lies to come back up. it being 2 years later, 3-4 years from when it happened she still doesnt remember, but now ill believe it cause its been so long. the fights have led to us actually breaking up. were still living together but we barely talk and when we do its just constant fighting. i want this to work with this girl, i dont want to know what happened in her past, i just want her to understand that the lies have hurt me, and they constantly make me feel like she never loved me. i just feel if you're going to be with someone forever, they should be your best friend above your lover, and you should be able to tell your bestfriend ANYTHING, and not worry how their going to look at you or if they're going to get mad or upset or hurt. i feel betrayed, and like im worthless to her. am i wrong for feeling this way? over the lies? and being forced to just let it go? i want this to work what should i do?

< edited >
It sounds to me from your first post that maybe she made up a lot of stuff to make herself appear a certain way because your relationship at the time wasn't serious yet, so she didn't think it mattered. But things changed and you guys decided to get together for real, so maybe now she is just embarassed about the stuff she said when she thought you guys weren't serious yet.
Have you ever seen the movie Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion? These 2 girls who were friends in high school go to their 10 year reunion and tell everyone they invented Post-it Notes. Because they didn't want their former classmates to think they didn't accomplish anything. I think your girlfriend similarly wanted to appear more experienced to you so she probably lied about herself to make it appear like she was more experienced than she really is. Since she didn't think at the time that you guys were going to be a couple, she didn't think it mattered how truthful she was. Now that things are different, she is probably embarassed about all of the stuff she said and that's why the story keeps changing and why she claims that she can't remember anything. I don't think it's anything more sinister than just embarassment.

As for your latest post about her being late to pick you up, I don't even understand what you're saying. Are you saying she said she would pick you up but she was 4 hours late and her excuse was that she was smoking pot with some other guy? That's really weird yes, and you shouldn't be dating a girl who is a pothead, so for that I would break up with her.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:45 AM.





© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!