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[QUOTE=stereophonatic;4771643]Hi all,
I am in a very traumatic way at the moment and really need advice as to what went wrong...
[/QUOTE]
You know what went wrong, you are just having trouble facing it.

[QUOTE=stereophonatic;4771643]
I am 25 and started a relationship with my girlfriend when we were both 16. We were childhood sweethearts right up until one month ago. We have never broken up before and we never took a break or anything like that. I love her more than anything else in the world and I always thought she loved me the same too.
[/QUOTE]

You have a strange way of showing your love for her and her to you based on what you say in your post.

[QUOTE=stereophonatic;4771643]
We lived together, we had a dog together and money was never a problem for us. In all honesty, the past few months have been a bit stale in all departments and we were bickering and arguing a lot. Now, again being honest, we have had many isolated domestic disputes over the years and there were a few times they got out of hand. Pushing, shoving, throwing things etc. Mainly me to her and her retaliating. I know it's not right and sometimes she may have felt fed up or even scared but we always apologised to each other and moved on.
[/QUOTE]

That doesn't really make it right. You just can't keep this kind of thing going and expect an apology will make everthing alright and clean the slate. It just doesn't work that way. It wears out a relationship over time.

[QUOTE=stereophonatic;4771643]
These were all isolated incidents over the 9 years and were certainly not a weekly or monthly occurance.
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Would it really make a difference if this all occurred within a short period of time? The fact that it occured over the 9 years tells me this would be more likely to keep occurring in the future. Who needs or wants this kind of relationship, really?

[QUOTE=stereophonatic;4771643]
Long story short, 4 weeks ago I picked up her phone and there were text messages in her sent box in her phone to MY BEST FRIEND of 18 years of an intimate nature. In all honestly, I lost the plot at the ultimate betrayal from the love of my life and my best friend. They denied it and fed me a bs story to cover up the lie and over the following 2 and a half days myself and my girlfriend had long chats and she was very convincing (to the point where I deep down started to believe her.) Now, it's important that I mention this next part; I was at work both days following the incident and was at numerous other places too. Two days after the incident, I left for work and came home for lunch and told my girlfriend that I knew of a way of extracting the deleted text messages from her phone that would prove that she was not cheating on me with my best friend (If indeed she was telling the truth.) She gave me the sim card from her phone and said I could read whatever I wanted and that she would prove that she didn't do anything of the sort. I left to go back to work and when I came home that evening at around 5pm, she was gone and had taken our puppy with her.

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I don't agree with what she did, but I think the message is that she wants to end this relationship with you and was afraid of how you would react if she would approach you in a reasonable way to explain it face to face. Could you handle it? I am not too sure.

[QUOTE=stereophonatic;4771643]
Half an hour later, I was arrested by Police and charged with all sorts! Now, she has told the truth about some of it, exaggerated other bits of it and the one thing that is scaring the hell out of me is that she has fabricated an allegation that I falsely imprisoned her in our home for 2 and a half days and said that I was with her the WHOLE TIME! She says she tried to escape and I wouldn't let her go etc. Now I have admitted to the Police from the start that yes I did lash out at her in the heat of the moment and that I did certain other things, but how could she go so far to ruin me for me catching her cheating with my best friend? She knows all about him and how he cheated on his last girlfriend on many occasions (she was a friend to his ex girlfriend and even comforted her when they split 4 weeks before all this was found out.)

I have witness statements to say I was at work, at a funeral, at the bank (CCTV footage and receipts) as well as a few other places that she drove me to and sat outside in the car...
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So, what now? Are you going to get back at her for this? What will you accomplish? You won't get her back. Face it, let her go, it is over. Both of you will be better off moving on.

[QUOTE=stereophonatic;4771643]
This whole thing has broken my heart and I have been running through my head all the times we argued, fought or when I was bang out of order and I cannot help feeling that maybe I pushed her into his arms! But why go so far to destroy me? We hadn't argued in months and she knows deep down that I would have taken the stars out of the sky for her (even though I didn't always show it.) I always thought she was a liar but never with anything significant.
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She is basically just tired of you. She just has her own way of showing it whether you agree with it or not. That's just the way it looks like to me. I know you don't want to hear all this, but you need to suck it up and move on.

[QUOTE=stereophonatic;4771643]
He was my BEST friend in the whole world so how could he do this to me? Even if she has confided in him that she wasn't happy or something? Do you think it is possible that they have got together behind my back and decided that if I ever found out they knew how I would react and they could literally completely discredit me by making allegations that are not only true, but some completely fabricated? They have even been seen 3 weeks later standing outside his mother's home kissing, hugging and laughing late at night and I am out on bail and have to return to court in 2 weeks! I have lost my girlfriend of 9 years, my best friend, my dog and I am back at my mother's house like a 16 year old again! One day everything was fine and the next my life was turned upside down completely!
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He never really was your best friend if you think about it. I could not tell you if they got together behind your back, and it shouldn't matter anymore at this point. The poor dog deserves better and shouldn't have to go through all this.

[QUOTE=stereophonatic;4771643]
I would just like to finish off with the fact that I have never been an angel and have had my moments, but how could they do this to me after all the great times we had together? I feel so alone it's scary.....
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It's too late to for her to consider how you feel about this. It simple comes down to you had too many bad times together and she just got fed up with it. A simple fact often overlooked. I am surprised it took her so long to snap.

It's over !

HOOP! ( I have a lot of free time today.) :)





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