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Hi! I'm new here, I read a lot from this forum, and I think I learn a lot and feel that there are so many people that have more complicated relationship than I am.

I'm having a long distance relationship with my bf, everything seems so fast, we were elementary schoolmate, just keep in touch by email on 2006 and we just had started to be together early last year. September last year we planned to get married, then we met our each other parents, we even went for traveling with his parents, after came back then his father is a little bit disagree coz we have different religions.. he almost dumped me at that time not because of this religion.. but because my reaction towards his father answered. i waited him, give him space to think about it again.. then we back in again after 2 weeks... everything was so wonderful, some argues are acceptable in relationship, right?

but in the end of last month, he honestly said to me that he feels he wants to broke up with me.. the reason is because.. I spend too much to call him, we got soo many argues while he is busy with his job and his mom was there too, and I was complaining about we had been long time not to talk or webcam for each other anymore.... thus he also feels that he is better not having an LDR and finding another girl there (he confused that he attracted to this internship girl in his office, he said that he feels just like he wants to take her out for dinner.. and feel that this girl is more calm than me.. >"< )

after we had long talk about our situation (i was very careful to pick the words, since i am the one who wants to compromise).. i said, if he wants to break up with me, we should talk face to face, not in webcam, not on the phone or email.. and he has to say that he doesn't love me anymore and don't want to talk with me anymore (we always have a very good communication)

he agreed.. then the day after that I asked him to think about it again, without thinking of breaking up or giving up, and deeply think whether he is hoping that our relationship to be worked out after i prove to him that i'm not that needy and he gets a lot of space.. and his answered is yes, but just don't give him a deadline.

I'm still working on this.. get my time back, not calling him too much, just send email, not expecting him to reply, text him just to support him at work, but sometimes just not send anything... and today, he texted me a message whether i'm feeling better with my ulcer (got an ulcer yesterday and called him just to asked how was his weekend).... and I just feel glad by that.. even though i asked his help yesterday and he said no.. but i think it's his right, and just to be himself... a healthy relationship doesn't always have to say yes, right?

It's hard at first, but i think, if you truly loves someone, you just don't expect your partner to do the same thing for you. Why should we in the world expect something that other can't give us since everybody is different, and nobody is perfect?

I took sometime reading a book "Act like a Lady, Think like a man".. and it was wow me.. and I feel really glad that i do well almost the same like what this book said.. ahahaha.. (ok.. ignore the book)..

what i'm saying is.. no matter a bipolar or a moody partner, or feel lonely, or crazy mean partner, etc.. all you have to think about is yourself... whether you can accept it or not? if not, then let them go, if yes, then stay with every conditions they give it to you.

one thing i get is, never expect someone to do the same as what you did to them. never asked them to do the thing that you want, don't ask them why.. if you want them to do it, then you have to give them example... RESPECT yourself first then others automatically will respect you, Love is not owning, but let them go, they don't talk to you.. so what? we still have a life.. just continuing to care for them without expecting anything in return... LOVE is about HONESTY, SUPPORT, CARE and RESPECT... do all that four for yourself first, then others will come along the way... How can we expect them to take care of us or we tell them that we care of them but we can't even take care of ourself?

If one of your partner are moody, then just give him space.. if he calls you back, then he's yours, if not then you have nothing to lose.. just let them go, care for them once in a while, give them support, respect their time, and honest with yourself whether you still can take it or not... just don't forced yourself to be in that way while you actually not feel comfortable with it.

I'm not an expert.. I just know how to do it.. and I also know how hard to do it... coz i'm also still trying to work on it... It's very hard at first, but after i think it myself, try to be honest, i just let him go, give him his space totally, and yeah.. I feel better now.. after having my time back, actually this space or moody thing is good for us to reconcile our heart with our mind.... think it all over again whether the relationship is worth it or not..

for the lonely who can get rid of exes... here is one thing i always do with myself when they dumped me... I was just sighing and told to myself "hmm.. it's just to bad that they couldn't see me through all the care, support, respect and honesty i gave....there must be someone better who deserve these more" then give myself a big smile and flapping my own shoulder...... I won't show that i'm weak after the broke up...but i will show to them i'm even stronger than that...

there is one time in my past.. my exes dumped me, and i cried.. and he had ever told me that i'm doing that because i want something from them.. and I just freak out.. like.. WTH?!?! then at that time I knew that he isn't the right one.. then I told him that it's too bad that he see it that way... I forgive him... then I leave...

and as I know.. he told to everyone how bad i was.. bla bla bla.. then this people who being told like that told me that he told them that way, etc.. well.. as far as i know.. he knew he was wrong, then his insecurities brought all that, try to pick a fight with me.. well.. I think i don't have to care of what he was saying to everyone.. coz everybody see it, they know it, they score it...

So, for those lonely guys/girls.... i think it's better to repack ourself while we are single... and learn when we starts a new one... :) being dumped is nobody's fault..it's just one of us can't see it clearly through that differences between man and woman...

Wish the best luck for us, shall we?





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