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Relationship Health Message Board


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Thank you guys so much for your responses! I really appreciate it.

BeaTrade,
I do agree with you. I do have a hard time with it. And trust me, if the roles were reversed he would not be too happy. Heck he asks ab guys who add me on FB. The only difference betw me and my bf is that Im more vocal about stuff. I have no problem admitting when Im jealous, upset, threatened etc. Its hard knowing he is out with females... now I know its not just any random females. He is with a bunch of his co workers hanging out and some of them are women and some are men. Also Im 23 and he is 22. The college life is very different. We are definitely in an exclusive relationship but its still different from couples who are committed and exclusive in their later 20s or mid 30s. College is just a different setting

Cryingforever,
You are dead on about the ex bf scenario. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I know this is sounds crazy but Im just being honest. Bec my ex wanted me every minute of the day... and because he was practically obsessed... in a sense, he boosted my ego up. I felt really confident when I was with my ex simply bec he just thought I was amazing and that I was the best thing out there. I know its a false sense of confidence and its not healthy but my point is, I felt great. My ex made me feel very confident about me. He would always feed my ego. My NORMAL bf doesnt do that (he isnt supposed to) but bec he doesnt, I sometimes feel like he undermines my confidence. I said sometimes. I know confidence comes with in and you cant depend on other ppl to make you confident but like I said I was in a really dysfunctional relationship. When my bf doesnt do certain things or when I feel he doesnt meet up to my expecations... I do feel like he is not interested. Here is a perfect yet simple example. When my ex and I used to watch sports, he would happily turn the tv off and give me attention... to the point that it aggravated me and got on my nerves. With my bf now? Ill be in LINGERIE, looking AMAZING, you best believe he will keep watching the play offs. He might give me attention when the commercial comes on but he will watch that game and then when its over.... and IM FAST ASLEEP is when he will try to spend time with me. There is nothing wrong with what my bf does... guys love sports. heck i love sports. Im just not used to it. And when I want my bf's attention, I want it right and then and there and Im not used to compromising, waiting, etc. My point, if I wanted to have s** and my bf is into a game or a movie, I have to wait. I know it shouldnt... but it hurts my feelings sometimes and it offends me! Im not used to it and I feel like he isnt interested and this goes back to my dysfunctional lifestyle with my ex bf! :dizzy: Im working on it tho!

My bf is very attentive... when the playoffs arent on! lol Its really not a big deal. I mean the play offs come one once every year. I can give him that. Im just not used to it ya know. But any other time, he is very attentive, caring and affectionate. He always calls me after he gets off work. He expects me to text him to let him know I made it safe to work etc.

As for FB friends, he always gets requests. Alot of them are ppl he went to HS with or college etc. He only adds ppl he knows but then again he has over 1200 friends. He has had them before I even came in the picture. The only females that text him are his coworkers (unless he deletes them w/out my knowledge). He doesnt have girls calling him at crazy times, not that Im aware of. He leaves his phone out in the open and I have picken it up and messed with it and he never cares/asks etc. Heck I even know his FB password. He has asked me to log in for him in the past.

He hasnt really done anything to make me think he is doing something bad. I feel silly now! I'm just not fond of him being out that late... even if its coworkers, its still the opposite sex and this is where my insecurities come in. My ex never went out. I did, but he was happy to just stay at home. He didnt have a life so there were no other females, female coworkers etc etc. This is just a major adjustment for me. sorry for the length cf.





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