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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Totally agree with the facts of what John U says, though not the perception, but it's interesting to get a man's point of view. This is a guy who may love you, but as we've been saying, it's not the same as being "into" you. A man who just wants you to shut up and leave him be and accept that the "relationship" is what it is, he's giving all he intends to give and doesn't care that the relationship is lacking in your eyes at all, to my mind is a guy who isn't really looking years and years into the future with you. I think your man is probably thinking all the things John says he is. Men like this may "love" the women they are with currently, but they are not IN love. They are enjoying the relationship for the now as long as it's fun, but as I said, any guy who just wants you to shut up and doesn't care if you're unhappy, and has no interest in what you're feeling or experiencing....kinda says it all, doesn't it?

I also agree that you shouldn't go out on "girls' nights out" as a ploy to get him jealous. But rather, you should go out with friends, spend time with family, to have a more well-rounded and diverse social life so you won't be making him the whole center of your universe, because it's not healthy to make your man your entire world. Socializing with other people and not spending so much time focusing on when you will next get to be with your boyfriend will give you some perspective, some distance to see things a bit more clearly.

I know you really want this relationship to work out, but I think at this point in the relationship, it might be a good idea to just enjoy what you have for the moment. And when he's not around, find other things to enjoy. After all, you can't bully him, push him, or talk him into loving you the way you want him to. If the relationship continues to be unsatisfying for you, then it will be totally up to YOU do decide whether you want to remain in an unhappy, unsatisfying relationship with a guy who just wants you to shut up and be happy with the crumbs he feels like throwing you, or if you are ready for something more real, substantial, mutually respectful and lasting.

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