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[QUOTE=Kat41;4790629]Thanks for your reply.,..not to defend., but Id like to say I do hold myself together MOST of the time .. however being human and an emotional type of person, I do slip at times and also hold on to the realization that I will have my moments of weakness, we all do. I wish I could be a stone face of non emotion, but that's not how God made me. I realize its not in the advantage of my children., oh boy do I know, and I do my very very best..but we all have a breaking point. I did apologize to my son over and over, we talked about it many times, he understands. I also always offer encouragement and do all I can to not put his dad down. If my kids bring up a topic that bothers them, I am very diplomatic about how I respond, however again, I am not without emotion .My son does know of my disapproval of his dads behaviors when he expresses them to me, and I really cant act all stoned faced when my son is crying and upset. When hes upset., I'm upset., both my kids inherited my sensitivities and we all wear our hearts on our sleeves. I do not degrade their father in front of my kids. Id be quite a hypocrite if I did that now wouldn't I ? However I do tell my kids when they express concerns about a situation if I feel that situation is right or wrong. I make no claims to being perfect, only doing my very best as a single parent. Ill be going back to college on Sept for social work, I hope that this too will give me more tools to deal with this man and his issues. I have taken parenting courses , read all the books and try to set a good example at all times for my children., If I had a button to turn my emotions off..I would do it in a second. Ive put on a plenty fake face for them., I wish them a great weekend or visit each time they walk out the door..I tell them often their dad loves them the best way he can, and I encourage the relationship, even though its not a healthy one, if you read all the posts, you will see the whole picture. Thanks for your post.[/QUOTE]

I didn't mean to offend you or suggest that you were being a "bad" mom or badmouthing your ex... I just wanted to make sure that wasn't the case. I, too, am a very emotional/sensitive person, so I know exactly how hard it is to hold yourself together when things get tough. It sounds like you really are doing your best to keep things civil and in the best interest of your children. I see no problem with you telling your son that certain situations are not appropriate and that his father and/or his gf acted in a way that wasn't right. He already knows this obviously, and you have every right to tell him that it's not okay if they're acting a certain way.

P.S- I have my degree in human services (social work) and psychology. I hope that you do learn a lot of "tools" that you can use in your personal life. I feel I learned a lot, the problem for me is just applying what I know to myself ;)
[QUOTE=Mary83;4790763]I didn't mean to offend you or suggest that you were being a "bad" mom or badmouthing your ex... I just wanted to make sure that wasn't the case. I, too, am a very emotional/sensitive person, so I know exactly how hard it is to hold yourself together when things get tough. It sounds like you really are doing your best to keep things civil and in the best interest of your children. I see no problem with you telling your son that certain situations are not appropriate and that his father and/or his gf acted in a way that wasn't right. He already knows this obviously, and you have every right to tell him that it's not okay if they're acting a certain way.

P.S- I have my degree in human services (social work) and psychology. I hope that you do learn a lot of "tools" that you can use in your personal life. I feel I learned a lot, the problem for me is just applying what I know to myself ;)[/QUOTE]
Thank you so much. These threads are just a glimpse for those reading, its almost impossible to get a sense of a real knowing and I fault no one. I appreciate you took the time to offer advise, it is why Im here. ;) Thanks again





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