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Am i a fool?
Jul 1, 2011
hello - i hope you dont think this is a waste of time to read. i really need some advice from anyone out there that can spare some support....

my boyfriend of (only) 1 and a half years and i have been living together for around 8-9 months. we have had quite a rough time of it with his brother passing away early this year and me having some personal issues come out to haunt me - both of which have lead to us arguing and generallly not working together to resolve any stress or help each other out.

we are great 'talkers' that is, we can talk about our arguements and see why they happen and try to not do what we do etc.

the last couple of months have been particualrly bad with bickering and both of us being generally 'snitchy' with each other.

out of the blue my boyfriend told me that he doesnt want kids (he already has one with someone else, 10 years old). I decided to spend some time (couple days) at a friends to get my head around this sudden and poorly timed statement. in which time he contacted three of his ex girlfriends, two of which to see if they wanted to meet to chat and the other to offer support with a personal issue she was having - none of these people had surfaced prior to our rocky patch.

fast forward a month and, after many more discussions and a couple of my own personal therapy sessions... we talked about my moving out. as i moved into his house, i was the one who would have to leave.

since then minds have been changed, my enotionsl have been all over the place, crying my heart out one minuet, being agressivly angry the next, a real rollercoaster...for us both.

for someone who likes to talk a lot, he has been awfully quiet of late, the only thing he is sure about is that i should move out.

it has been called (from him) 'suffocating', 'claustrophobic', 'cant be himself' but also 'we're not breaking up, just living apart', 'ill be at your place all the time and you come to mine'.

only since my 100'th crying session ( i know I should stop this ) had he been saying, 'it'll only be for a year'

my trust has gone significantly down hill since the ex-girlfriend revelation and now I am feeling pushed out (though he says i can take my time - being in limbo is very very hard, especially when you have no idea of what the final outcome will be or what exactly he is thinking or playing at)

it seems awfully cruel to me if he is doing this to break up.

has anyone else been through this? i am torturing myself by reading things online - everyone saying its the end etc but wanted to post my 'story' and see what people think.

im very blue and very confused. i go to sleep heartbroken and wake up heartbroken - i am 32 and feel like i have failed yet another relationship and can work out if i am insecure or scared to be left. Ive not been out of a relationship for 8 years and i dont want to lose this one.

is it ok to move out after moving in? was it too soon to move in? any advice would be great.

im so sorry this is so long.....:(





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