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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

You could all be friends if it's all innocent and on the up and up, but you can't be friends with her if he hides her from you. And if he's hiding her from you, chances are they are a bit more than friends.

Sometimes, it seems that people who are jealous and possessive and sooooo sure you're seeing someone else, they behave like this because THEY are seeing others behind your back and they either assume you are doing the same, or they assuage their guilt by projecting their actions on you. You guys are young, and you might want to take a step back. How you feel about not breaking up, but taking a step back, continuing to see each other, but agree to see other people as well, or take a break so you can both see other people? I personally am not a fan of "taking breaks" but you're not ready to let him go, and he's not ready to trust you or fully commit to you. So what else to do? It's a tricky one. But you need to do some soul searching and decide what you really want from a relationship. If you want a relationship with a guy who's going to be your best friend, trust you and have faith in you, and not behave inappropriately, like flirting and texting sexy pictures back and forth with other women, then this is not the relationship you want. And it's up to you to do something about it.

I wouldn't recommend "talking" about it. Most men don't really respond to talking. You start off with "I think we're at a stage where we should be able to trust each other, and when you text these kinds of things to other women, it makes me feel...." and that's when his eyes glaze over, and all he hears is "blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah." Men respond better to action. Like, "you get sexy texts from another woman, I walk out the door." A-ha, he says. If I don't want her to walk out the door, then I will have to stop the texts. But before you can show him what you want and what you won't put up with, you have to know yourself. Right now it sounds like you're willing to put up with just about anything and hope that it will just go away so you won't have to think about leaving him. Think long and hard about what you want out of a relationship, and be honest about how realistic it is to think you will get it from him.

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