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ok so I know you can't change anyone...that doesn't want to change... well my boyfriend has a bad anger problem... he flips out on me about every little thing, alot of the times I can't even talk to him. When I speak up for myself or ask him questions about stuff that has happened that I believe he is in the wrong for he completely flips out changes it around and in the end I'm the one apologizing and trying to calm him down just to end his tantrum and the drama. There is really good times in our relationship and even my dad likes him, (he hasn't liked anyone) Me and my boyfriend live together, with my brother at my moms (she's a liveincaregiver) and us living with my brother causes added on stress. I'm just going to get to my question now, I really just want some input, encouragement, but recently we were living at my dad's and me and my boyfriend got in an arguement, we were both drinking and it was over him wanting to go to sleep after working all day and me wanting to make love, i felt rejected, well of course he flipped out and punched a hole in the wall, which caused me to get mad and yell at him for disrespecting my dads house, he went to pack his bags to leave and i grabbed his arm to pull him back and he choked me... not to bad, but enough to scare me... he has agreed he has a serious anger problem and agreed to go to counseling, he starts tommorrow.... do you think it will help at all?
[QUOTE=heather1988;4798375]ok so I know you can't change anyone...that doesn't want to change... well my boyfriend has a bad anger problem... he flips out on me about every little thing, alot of the times I can't even talk to him. When I speak up for myself or ask him questions about stuff that has happened that I believe he is in the wrong for he completely flips out changes it around and in the end I'm the one apologizing and trying to calm him down just to end his tantrum and the drama. There is really good times in our relationship and even my dad likes him, (he hasn't liked anyone) Me and my boyfriend live together, with my brother at my moms (she's a liveincaregiver) and us living with my brother causes added on stress. I'm just going to get to my question now, I really just want some input, encouragement, but recently we were living at my dad's and me and my boyfriend got in an arguement, we were both drinking and it was over him wanting to go to sleep after working all day and me wanting to make love, i felt rejected, well of course he flipped out and punched a hole in the wall, which caused me to get mad and yell at him for disrespecting my dads house, he went to pack his bags to leave and i grabbed his arm to pull him back and he choked me... not to bad, but enough to scare me... he has agreed he has a serious anger problem and agreed to go to counseling, he starts tommorrow.... do you think it will help at all?[/QUOTE]



Heather, please take care of yourself. He may change but it will take time and you can't stay with him until he proves he is better. It is rare that people with such anger issues becoming more violent actually change for the better. Give each other some time and space and see if he follows through with counseling. You probably should get some counseling yourself. His behavior is unacceptable. Next time he may do much worse. He does not respect you at this time. Let him show respect if he can. Hugs, lobolee





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