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Boyfriend Issues...
Jul 16, 2011
Before I get on with what I came here to say, I have to mention that seeking help like this is highly unusual for me to do. I stumbled upon this website after searching some pretty not-so-smart things on Google.
[B]To be clear, I am looking for advice and help with how I can better the relationship.[/B]
If you don't like reading long posts, then this isn't going to be your cup of tea. ;)
If anyone needs any more clarification on things, or just more information in general, be sure to mention that.
Let me get started...

Well, I am in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend, though I am planning on moving out to where he is very soon. We have known each other for four years, started dating almost right after meeting, and broke up during that first year. We have found each other again one year ago, and he left the girlfriend he was with at the time for me. He claimed he was devastated when I broke his heart, yet never stopped loving me and couldn't fill the spot in his heart where I left it. I know that we share a very strong bond, no matter what happens, but sometimes it gets too much for me.

We argue almost every day about the stupidest things. He is a perfectionist and hates when something doesn't go his way. I'm human, and I make mistakes. I try to work on what needs to be improved and fix what I did wrong. This doesn't stop him from insulting me, though. He constantly calls me a failure and puts me down so much. Yes, I have talked to him about it; he knows how I feel and agrees he could be nicer. I don't see that happening, though.

Recently, we got into an argument over something in a game we play online (this is what I was talking about.. stupid). We weren't even doing anything significant, just going against other players for fun. I made a little mistake and my boyfriend exploded at me. I tried reasoning it out, but with his attitude, he wouldn't take it. He always assumes things that are often false and exaggerates based on the situation. I quote: "Don't try to turn it around on me, you idiot. Hurry up. How dare you try and act like you don't have to apologize? You're freakin' disgusting. Go kill yourself. You just love being so freakin' retarded that you act like you're not at fault. You just have to fight me and lose (he always claims that I will never win an argument, so I should stop 'going against him') instead of being smart. If you cry, I'm dumping you. Got it?" Another note, he does threaten me like this; it's nothing new. I know he won't leave me. The funny thing is, I don't feel like crying, probably because I'm getting used to this treatment. That doesn't stop me from feeling bad, though.

Anyway, I was not responding to anything he said after that; I got sick of it. He is now spamming my cell phone with calls (73 and counting), which is also something he does when we argue and he doesn't get his way (which he does most of the time). Several times before when this has happened, he texted me threats. Threats going from him going to cheat on me, to threats about how he'll be more mad and will make me pay (cause me to feel bad/suffer). He has taken out his anger/frustration out on punching walls. I honestly don't know what to do when I know he does that. Usually it's just to make me pity him or show him that I don't lack the care he thinks I do. Talking things out by his standards usually leads up to more arguments.

Basically, I'm tired of this treatment. It's been either like this, or similar to it, since we started dating again. All he wants me to do is to do everything he tells me to and to not mess up. Sounds a lot easier than it is. We do want to be with each other; we've shared a lot and are very much in love, but I don't want to have to deal with this behavior anymore. I know he will listen to what I'd have to say, but the problem now is that I don't know what to say anymore.





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