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Relationship Health Message Board


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From what I can see, sgt., it seems that your main problem is how you view women. Your ex girlfriend is a crazy, nut bag psycho because she got upset when you skipped off to Mexico with the bros on her birthday? I gotta say, depending on the circumstances, I would be upset if my boyfriend did that to me, and I'm not a needy, clingy psycho. I'm just a woman who expects to be a priority in the life of the man who claims to love me.

So your ex is a "psycho" because she dared to put demands on you. So now you have a woman who puts no demands on you at all, who is fine with you doing whatever you want, and from the sound of it, that includes neglecting her and walking all over her. And so, she's comfortable and easy to be with, but boring and not easily respected. Most people who let you neglect them and take them for granted tend to be boring and hard to respect.

I think your ex girlfriend and you are poison to each other. She's drawn to you for whatever reason, but she keeps forgetting that you don't treat her well and you don't make her a priority in your life. Then when she actually gets back in a relationship with you, she remembers that you don't talk to her, you don't express yourself, you don't make her a priority, and so she bolts. You don't really love her, never did, and you're not the man she hopes you will be someday. You two should stay away from each other.

Now, as far as your current girlfriend. I think you need to take some time to really do some soul searching and thinking about what you really want out of a relationship. Are you even ready for or wanting a monogamous, commited, real relationship? It seems you like to be a "bad boy," forgetting your girlfriend's birthday, running off to Mexico with the guys. You don't want a woman who calls you on it, but now you have a woman who doesn't call you on it, who's fine with it, who is satisfied with you and what you give her, and you don't really want her, either. In your own words, you don't love her as much as she loves you, and you find her predictable and boring. It sounds to me like YOU'RE the one addicted to drama, not your ex girlfriend. You like to be bad, but you also like a woman who notices, who will be a little possessive of you and slap your wrist a bit, but then you get annoyed when she does. And if she doesn't, she's "boring" and "doesn't keep you on your toes." That's an issue YOU have that you need to work out for yourself.

Take some time to think long and hard about whether or not you really want a relationship at this point in your life, or do you want to play the field and see different types of women at once and not have to be commited to anyone. Or if you decide you DO want a relationship, what does a good, rich, satisfying relationship look like to you? And how much of it do you have with your current girlfriend? And why are you bored with a woman who seems to be everything you always thought you wanted when you were with the ex? So my advice would be, keep things status quo with your current girlfriend. If you don't really love her, then DON'T tell her you do. Hold off on doing the "I love you" thing until you can say it honestly and whole-heartedly. Do some soul searching and thinking about what you really want, and leave the ex alone. You know you don't really want her, and she deserves better.





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