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Relationship Health Message Board


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First let me thank everyone from my previous threads ie. Chronic pain and intimacy- back issues for all your advice and understanding. I haven't been on the site since May, been trying to keep a sinking ship afloat- I didn't succeed- it's over and I've been given 30 days to find a place and be out of here.

Let me say, I was told this morning that I've been pushing it and pushing it! He said we needed to talk the other night , that he was sick and tired of living a life void of feeling emotion !! BTW that was sent in a text message 10 mins after he left the house ( that took courage on his part ).We talked, or made snide comments for about 30 min- I sat there in silence for another hour- then proceeded to go to the spare room.
For those of you who don't know my story, I'll try to keep it short. 23 + yrs, married/divorced and now have been seeing eachother again for 4 yrs. He is the only one I've been with in the last few yrs/ can't say that for him. We moved back into his home last Aug. It has been a never ending on again , off again , good/bad mood, just plain aggrevation on both ppl. He , as some have suggested is a sex addict- I unfortunately have neck and back injuries that make it impossible for me to be without pain 24/7- so honestly, sex is the farthest thing on my mind. I tried to please him, 1-3 times week but as he put it " I know your in pain, but I feel like my chest is going to explode " . Mind you, this feeling he has is more than likely due to the fact that he's been seeing someone from his past-acually it's the girl he left me for- HER SISTER, staying late at work ??? and cell calls and texting show constant contact with her. Maybe if he didn't live a double life, he wouldn't have such anxiety issues.
I have made every attempt to make this work, for what I can do ,and or give him- yet nothing works. I know true love withstands something like this , or at least it has a chance ( a bit longer than living together 1 yr ) I will never be the same person I was before my injuries, and I hope in time that I won't feel the guilt I feel everyday because of them and my limitations. I just hope someone that reads this, might be in a similar position- and take my advise...... If they had spots before , they will always have them- and only they matter. If the other person doesn't show true compassion for your health- and isn't involved in your care and treatments ....then they don't care !!!! I don't care how often they tell you they love - THEY DON'T !!!! They say that to keep getting what they want - and only for that reason.
This all started again Monday in a text, since then I moved to the spare room and this morning he felt the need to kiss me on his way out to work ????? IDK why ????? and just now as I sit and type he sent me another friggen text that says and I quote " Have you looked into any thing yet or r u just going 2 pretend this isn't happening ?" This is the same man that walked in and told me that he has always loved me, and always will - less than 32 hrs ago. Guess I must be standing in the way of him and his new THING !!!!!!!
Sorry for rambling there, I just can't make sense of it all - and I'm really tired of trying. If this messed up thread helps just one person from making the mistakes I've made, and saved them from wasting what little precious time we all have been given , then it's worth all the effort.
Thanks again,to everyone in advance for any input/advise, it is truely appreciated.
**** Just to add fuel to the fire, the jerk just accused our son of hanging out in a crack house !!! And wouldn't tell him where or whom said such an outragous lie !!!! Everytime our son thinks he's making some good conections with his father- this is the kinda stuff he does to show his ignorance.





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