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Anxiety 55
Jul 23, 2011
Recently i had an affair with a work mate, after i at first got worried about her when i heard stories of how her partner was treating her. Within a space of weeks she had left him and tried to move in with me (after he found txts between us), but my concern for her and the rapid pace that the affair took place, meant i did the right thing and told her to take time out and rebuild before she committes again, and to give the ex at least friendship and maybe try and give him second chance. She then decides that we are to be friends and she doesnt want to hurt me. She has a quickie with another woman and 3 weeks later she goes back to her ex. whom she tells that herself and i have only been good freinds and nothing happened between us.

2 Days before she goes back to him i discover she is an unmed bipolar and then i quickly discover her ex is a control freak that had complete control of her life as well as didnt like her hanging around any men. She is and has been a complusive liar to him as he gets explosive verbally all the time i find out (the part of me wonders if she has cheated on him before, though we have cared about each other for years before this took place). I also discover that her mothers is bipolar and had repeated affairs in the household when my friend was young. Thankfully i got onto meds straight away.

He quickly makes life hard for us, but great for her and while he promised to let her txt me and hang with me, he quickly started to whine about our friendship and when that didnt work he started to say i was obessed (but i hadnt changed one bit in my txts or talking). Then he finds out we talk for 10mins maybe 2 a week so he decides to take her to work on the dot. As my aniexty starts to kick in with the nose around my neck, i still know she cares about me, and worries for me as she knows about the scares-at this point we are great friends. But we both have stress from him, and it is our friendship that is the stress in her otherwise perfect world (well except for the fact she cheated on him with me and has lied the whole way).

I discover i have feelings and decide to end our friendship as my aniexty was getting worse and mixed in with feelings would not help her biopolar (as she was getting down as i was getting down) plus there was the control freak boyfriend who was waiting for a reason to end our friendship. I text her my feelings, then a few days later txt her what i thing of him, and a day later i am sorry and with aniexty trying to fix what i have done, even though i knew at the start it was for the best-anxiety is ripping me apart at this point. She asks for time out and that im in the way of her trying to build a relationship.

Since then its been a month and ive had repeated attacks, up my dosage and at least once planned to top myself. I have found she is a trigger for my attacks now and have tried to avoid her and keep her out of my life if she tries to return into it.

But im worried about her and what he will do when he discovers what has gone on as, a few of her friends and all her family know. Should i deal with my attacks so i can be a support person for her when she needs it or should i cut and run. Im so confused at the moment.

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