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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Personally I don't gather your situation as one that would mean being insecure, but of frustration and doubt. Being in a long distance relationships is hard since neither of you are in close proximity to each other to be able to assure each other of the stability of the relationship. It is only natural that your girlfriend has lingering feelings for her ex since they had a long history together (4-5 years was it?), since the break-up only happened within the year. What does concern me is she cheated on him twice, now she is with you, has kissed a guy while away from you, and all of a sudden she is going to see her ex, admits she still cares for him and that he was actually a good guy. Those are red flags that she's not too stable, nor can you depend on her at all for remaining in the relationship with you. This is a strong indicator that she still has strong feelings for her ex and is considering rekindling the old flame.

My advice is when she does come to visit you, is just enjoy the time with her and gauge her disposition toward you. This could grant you an indication whether she wants to remain with you, but there's a possibility she could hide the truth from you. Ultimately this relationship may end up being poisonous to you since she is maintaining contact with her ex and may have ulterior motives. Also, I gather that you are not too fond of her binging on alcohol and smoking weed. If this bothers you now, it will bother you even more later. Because she will she will drive you crazy, while you will have good intentions to help her get back on track. Eventually she just may think you are controlling and overbearing, just because you don't want her to proceed on a downward spiral. Honestly, you should really consider letting this one go and moving on. You are young, in the military, and have a long road ahead of you. You don't need such negativity permeating your life. If you do consider breaking it off, then do it quick, like pulling a band-aid off a wound. It'll really help your self-confidence when you make such a liberating decision.

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