It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hi, everyone. I'm new here.

I'm 24 and have been in a serious relationship with my 33-year-old boyfriend for two and a half years. We live together and recently got a cat. He (my boyfriend) is my greatest friend, often I cannot express in words how happy he makes me. He is loving, patient, generous, incredibly funny, and has proven himself to be the most honest, morally sound man I have ever known...and I am no longer sexually attracted to him. We have not had sex in over 8 months. We have tried, but I am never able to go through with it, and it's getting harder to come up with reasons and excuses.

I should add that there are outside influential circumstances: I was in a sexually abusive relationship for 7 months before meeting him, although this did not affect my initial attraction to him and the sex we had in the first several months, so I am not sure how much of a role my past really plays in it. I am also on the birth control pill, but I have been on birth control since the age of 16 and it has never affected my sex drive. I have tried switching pills several times since this started, to no avail.

He is incredibly patient and has never made me feel like I "should" be having sex with him, he has never once expressed anger towards the situation and is very understanding, which only compounds my guilt. I have had sexual thoughts and fantasies about other men, so I don't think my libido is completely gone. I know he is still very attracted to me.

Is a complete and utter lack of sexual chemistry a good reason for breaking off an otherwise healthy relationship? I cannot imagine my life without him if we broke up and he would be utterly shattered and alone; he has no living family, and no real friends because he has always been a loner and his job is quite demanding. I realize none of this is my fault, but it still makes things difficult. He talks about our future children and buying a house casually, as though he intends to propose at some point, and this thought makes me feel nervous and guilty. I am not sure what aspects of the relationship I should be evaluating and what would be an effective remedy for our situation.

Sorry for the long post- any help or suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you so much.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:44 PM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!