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I'm here today seeking opinions of those who may have been in my shoes or just think they may be able to help. As of lately this mistrust has been racking my brain and is becoming to much. I am generally a very forgiving person but when it comes to a betrayal of trust I have trouble forgiving.

My girlfriend and I have dated for almost ten months, I am madly in love with her. Someday I would like to marry and have children with this girl. As of late she has betrayed my trust multiple times.

On one occasion my girlfriend went out of her way and said "I am going to respect your wishes and not hangout with my ex-boyfriend". This was before I even got to say I felt uncomfortable with this. A week later she goes to a concert and prior I was asking questions about who is going and what not, she seemed to act "sketchy". Again acting sketchy the day of and the morning after. So I just had a gut feeling her ex-boyfriend went. I asked and he did end up being there(with other people also not just them by themselves) and clearly I was upset considering she hid this from me, she said she was going to tell me the next time she saw me in person which I do believe was her intention. Even before this she would hide the fact that she talked to him whether it be through text or phone call. I honestly do not believe that she cheated on me or ever will with this ex-boyfriend.

Another occasion I found a conversation on her Facebook with some kid her and her best friend met at a bar, talking about possible sex, and other very hurtful things that still bother me to this day. She had also given him her number(so did her friend). What she said was that her and her friend were trying to meet people from the town that they just moved to. I was pissed, I'm sorry but you don't give your number to random guys at the bar if you have a boyfriend. But anyways the Facebook conversation was explained as we were just messing with him, teasing him. I believed it and she understands that she was completely wrong in both events.

There are other small things here and there that aren't really serious but you get the point I would think.

So now that you now the story lets get into the issue, after these both happened there was some decision making and I finally decided that i really thought in some time I would be able to forgive her. Lately I have been having having issues with it and it shows that i have not forgiven her. I have been paranoid about her cheating me or hanging out with her ex-boyfriend and i don't know what to do. I have never had trust issues in a relationship before and it is really taking a tole on us.

So what do you think? What are your tips for forgiveness? Or do you think I will never be able to forgive her?

It is really hard because I will be in so much pain but I don't want to leave her because at one point we had this spark where we could just light up a room. This spark is still there but it is hidden in the guise of mistrust. Please help, i would love your advice if you think you can help. By the way if you were wondering we have many conversations about the mistrust and it doesn't seem to help.

And my apologies for the grammar, English is not my forte.

Also forgot to mention the lack of sex drive when it comes to her, which makes things a lot worse. Causing me to have a bad self-esteem, and simply amplifying the situation.

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