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She DOES have feelings for her ex. She is still making herself responsible for his happiness (i.e., not wanting to tell him about you because it will upset him). I'm guessing there was a LOT of drama in their relationship and she kind of craves the way he (unhealthily) needed her. I'm also guessing their breakup was dramatic too. I can't really say what kind of feelings she has for him, but she has them. For example, with my ex, I couldn't give a rat's behind if ANYTHING I do upsets him because it's not my problem. If my ex even tried to ask me on a date I'd tell him to shove off. And that's not just because I can't stand the guy, I have other exes that I don't dislike but I am not interested in spending time with an ex. As friends or otherwise. My exes stay in my past.

It sounds like she's backing off from a relationship with you and going on a date with him because she still cares. Perhaps even wants him back (although I'll bet money she'd deny that).

I do think you have every right to tell her that it upsets you she's going on a date with her ex, and even more that it upsets you that she is caring about his feelings for her. You don't have to get all caveman and "forbid" her to go, but you're a human with feelings and there's no reason why you can't be honest about them.

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