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Hi all,

A few weeks ago I went slept with this guy and went home told my boyfriend it's over. I knew I crossed the line and thought that would be it. I suppose I just wanted out of our relationship it's been a long time coming.

My boyfriend and I got together 6 years ago after we both going through stuff. Then things were a bit rocky but in the end we did get serious and we now have a 4 year old son. I always thought I was not good enough as he had female friends and would spend a lot of time chatting to them on the phone and me left at night in bed a lone. I know he was not cheating just talking.
Recently things got to the point I had enough joined this site and started getting a lot of male attention. I made a lot of male friends but then some guy came a long and we both started talking before I knew it we are meeting each other and I end up doing that. I was full of guilt at the time and this guy gone back to his country.
Anyway my boyfriend knows what I done I confessed all but it's hurt him badly and at first he wanted us to try again and we been trying to but every little argument comes he chucks it in my face and I know it's my fault. I told my boyfriend several times I need space but felt trapped into staying as he said if I go that will be it for us.
When my boyfriend and I first agreed we would try again I emailed this guy to tell him both my boyfriend and I are getting back together. Then only last week after not hearing from this guy for a long time he contacted and this email he sent got to me. So I began emailing him back and I feel I've got feelings for him.
My boyfriend and I have been getting a long fine but he can't trust me which is understandable and plus he don't know I'm emailing this guy. But from yesterday he has been really funny with me and won't talk to me at all.
Apart of me just wants to go be on my own as this is what I orignally wanted to start with. But felt forced to stay to work things out. Now this guy seems interested and he probably did just use me but I like him more than I should.
I have not told my friends even though they know what I done can't tell them the latest feel such a fool right now and I don't expect anyone to reply probably deserve everything. But yet I look back and think if this guy never came a long my boyfriend and I would of split anyway.
I really don't know what to do anymore so lost.

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