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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Well, it seems you're pretty sure your inability to have sex with has nothing to do with any physical ailment on your part, or any serious change on her part. You simply feel like you haven't slept around enough yet and want to do that before committing. Of course you know it's not fair to stay with her just because you're afraid to lose her forever, no matter how much she cries and begs you to stay. And it's not fair to hang onto her and then not have sex with her. As Greg Behrendt says in his book He's Just Not That Into You, sex is one of the greatest pleasures of being human. The last person in the world who should be stopping you from having that pleasure and experience is the guy who's supposed to love you. If you're so preoccupied with having sex with other women that you can't enjoy making love to your girlfriend, then maybe that's what you need to do. But you need to understand that losing her forever will possibly be the price you must pay. You may find someone else you love just as much, or even more, than your girlfriend, chances are you will. Men seem to have a much easier time finding a suitable mate than women do, it's just the law of averages that men have working in their favor. But you don't have the right to go sleep around with other women and expect her to be waiting there for you when you're done, and even possibly bring a sexually transmitted disease back to her. With men, love is largely a matter of timing. It seems the timing is just not right for you to make a life-long commitment. You obviously don't want to. And you're being selfish and unfair to her to hang onto her just because you don't want her to find someone else or because you don't want to lose her. if you can't be glad you have her and enjoy a fulfilling sexual relationship with her, then the only fair, good thing for you to do is let her go, and then go do what you feel you need to do, and accept whatever risk or consequence comes with that. You say you want to be a good man. Well, I think if a good man can't love her, appreciate her, and really want to be with her, and enjoy being with her, then a good man would let her go and stop wasting her time. You're not doing her any favors by hanging onto her while secretly wishing you could be sleeping with other women so desperately that you can't even have a proper intimate relationship with her.

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