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Relationship Health Message Board

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[QUOTE=theproducer;4846178]Okay, I "need to change my perspective," but to what? Please elaborate. Why is it not critical for me to be in a relationship? When you say that, it sounds like you're saying im unjustified in wanting love. And when I say "denied" I feel like I'm being denied or missing out on an important part of my youth and being human.[/QUOTE]

I don't normally post on these topics but just felt compelled to comment on this one. First of all I am in NO way a relationship expert, or a an expert on women. I am married and also a guy.

To be perfectly honest with you, it sounds like the previous poster hit it partly with saying you sounded clingey. You have to believe the perfect person for you is out there, in fact I know she is. There are 9 BILLION people on this planet, there is SOMEONE who is perfect for you. There are probably thousands of people who would be great for you. Stop thinking she isn't out there because she is. That isn't the problem.

The problem is that when you meet her, you don't want to mess it up. Most women I know don't like it when you keep asking questions like "what is wrong with me" or "what am i doing wrong". It seems like you ask questions which is fine, but then you just keep pestering with the same question and asking them to elaborate which ultimately is going to frustrate anybody and make them stop asking questions. It sounds like insecurity coming out, which I am sadly an expert on. And unfortunately insecurity is a turn-off for most women. I know how hard that is... it is a catch-22 to say don't be insecure or women will be turned off but getting rejected caused more insecurity.

Also some people (don't know you at all so I don't know) don't seem to pick up on body language signals other people are unconciously giving out. Most times when a woman makes a point of touching you, like touching your shoulder when you tell a joke, or maintaining eye contact or moving a little closer to hear you, those are good signs they are attracted to you. If she has her arms crossed and is checking her phone or backing away from you, she is losing interest. Use signals like that to judge how your conversation is going. Learn to let questions go, don't keep asking them to elaborate on an answer.

Sorry that's all i have. Not trying to make you mad, just i know i have been there before. good luck!

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