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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I don't have anyone else to turn to that will give me a neutral answer and advice, so I'm here... on a message board.

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. He lives around 5 hours away from me. We've been together since December 2010. He is a wonderful man that I love dearly. When we are together it's unbelievable, I'm so happy and I don't see myself with anyone else. We've talked about me moving, where he lives, and I've agreed. I have family there, even born there, so I will always have someone around I know to turn to when in need.

During the entire relationship, but more-so in the last 3 months, he has a tendency of bringing up my past relationship, how I have "experience" in the bedroom (he was a virgin before being with me) and getting depressed about himself not having the same "experience" and pasts. He asks for details about my past, how many partners, how many times with each, everywhere we did it, how we did it, he wants to know everything! He says so he can be "perfect" for me. I have no issues with telling him, but the last time I did he freaked out calling me names and being plain rude about the entire situation. I told him after that I will never tell him anything ever again. I shouldn't have told him anything in the first place, I knew it was going to start something, but I did it anyway. He gets very angry with me about things I've done in the past that I haven't with him.

I used to have lots of friends, more men than women, but they were friends. If one of them would talk to me, via texting or Facebook, he would get really upset and pretty much tell me not talk to them anymore. He says he feels threatened and uneasy. He's also said that I'm much too flirty and too chatty to men. So if someone messages me on Facebook I log off or try to keep the conversation short and to the point with minimal smileys. I then have to tell him who I talked to and what the chat was about. I just told him a friend messaged me from Facebook asking about a job for his girlfriend at my workplace. He then told me, "X is texting me about her cats and random stuff". Minutes after I told him about my friend messaging me on Facebook! He does this all the time and it's really annoying and rude. He doesn't even want me looking at message boards about relationship issues because it puts things in my head. I might think poorly of him.

I guess it should be known that 4 months in our relationship, I talked to an old love interest for a couple hours on the phone. I didn't tell my boyfriend right away but when he found out he flipped! By the way, he found out by looking at my cell phone's website, it has calls and texts listed. He broke up with me and told me he hated me. We're obviously back together, however, I banned that friend from Facebook, AIM, Skype and E-mails. I changed my cell phone number completely and deleted all contact with that friend. If I speak to him again, the relationship with be over and I will never hear from my boyfriend again. I still to this day hear about how I screwed him over and threw every part of his trust in me out the window. I didn't cheat on him, I had a chat with an old friend. I understand that he didn't like it but I don't understand why the banning and making me change my number.

He's so stuck in the past that I'm just sick and tired of the arguing. We do it every day and I can't stand it any longer! I don't think it's going to change me moving there, he says everything will change, he won't be so worried and his trust in me will grow. A few weeks ago his friend told him we should do a Pro and Con's paper. What don't we like and what we do like about our GF/BF. I did it right away and shared it with him. He said he would do one over the weekend when he had time, during the week he works. The weekend gone and past, few weeks gone, about a month gone now. I asked about it twice and the third time, after a few arguments over me asking and being "pushy", he did it. Took him a whole day to tell me my Pro/Con's, because he was scared how I would react to it. He didn't want me to ruin our day by bitching at him for something he said on the paper. After telling me he got on webcam and showed me the date he said he wrote the paper. It was last month! Do I entirely believe that he did it on that date, no not really. Why would he show me the date if he really did it on that day. Any normal person would hide that, but he says he really did it on that day and I should be happy that he even did it at all. :\

I'm unsure what to do. We argue over small things because he thinks I'm upset about everything. He's blamed me not getting my Depo shot for 2 months, my hormones we're out of whack or something. I'm wrong about everything 90% of the time he says. I don't want to break up but I think that's what needs to be done. He will have his experience and past that he wants so dearly and I won't have to deal.


What do you think? Should I move and see how it goes like he wants... or should I stay where I am and leave the relationship?

Thanks for reading my wall of texts and any advice you think I deserve. :)





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