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Hey everyone.. I thought I'd use this forum on the health boards to post my situation and maybe get some outside opinions. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this in "real" life because it would almost certainly get back to my boyfriend and other people involved, and I don't need that to happen. I'm afraid it would cause a lot of problems. I would really appreciate any thoughts or opinions you all might have about what's going on here. It's hard for me to judge as I'm in the middle of it all!

To the point.. I'm starting to think my boyfriend's best friend is into me. Maybe it's just all in my head.. but there's enough odd stuff going on to make me wonder.

A little background: We have always gotten along extremely well.. this man and I. Throughout my life I have had many platonic friendships with men, so this is nothing unusual for me. And up until now, my boyfriend has never been jealous of this.. not openly anyway.. and he always says he's really happy that we get along as well as we do. I guess this wasn't the case with my boyfriend's last ex and it caused a lot of problems between my boyfriend and his best friend.

Now throughout the past couple of years, I have occasionally gotten "looks" from this man. Ladies, you know what I mean.. those "I'm checking you out while you're not paying attention" looks. Or once in a great while he'd hold eye contact with me a little too long. I never thought much of it.. he is a bit of a womanizer, this man, and naturally flirty.. so I just took it all as being part of who he is.

So fast forward a couple of years and here we are now. My boyfriend started a new job and is gone a lot more now. I've been coming home from work early in the day as usual. At first his friend still would stop by maybe once a week, knowing that my boyfriend was gone. We'd have our little chats over a cigarette and some coffee, and he'd go on his way and I'd continue with my day. But then he started coming by 3 or even 4 times a week. Again I didn't read a lot into this.. because we do get along really well and we always have something to talk about. We've grown closer as friends during all of this.. we talk about our pasts, our relationships, our goals for the future.. everything. And he has never tried to come on to me or made me feel uncomfortable.

But now I'm noticing some changes in his behavior and I'm starting to worry that he wants more with me than this good friendship we have. He texts me multiple times each day. He tries to see me almost every day, whether my boyfriend is here or not. Sometimes he'll even stop by, leave for a bit, and then come back. He gives me little gifts now too, and I find that really strange. They aren't valuable or brand new gifts.. they're his personal possessions. A lot of random stuff. Once I told him I wanted to have my car detailed and he gave me his car detailing kit. Another time I told him I needed a better pocket knife and he gave me his. Stuff like that. But now I have a whole pile of his things, and whenever I try to refuse his "gifts" or give them back to him, he makes a big deal of it. He talks to me more than he talks to my boyfriend, his "best friend", now. My boyfriend is starting to show some jealousy and wonder why he's coming around me so much. I try to be very honest with my boyfriend and I do tell him every time this guy stops by. This man and his girlfriend (who I also really like and have a friendship with) are also having a lot of problems right now. He tells me that all she wants to do is argue and says she's very clingy, but she tells me that he's become distant and is always too busy for her. I find that odd, because he's always making time to come see me. I even found out that he ditched her the other day to go car shopping with me. I feel so bad about this and part of me wants to ask him why he's choosing my company over hers.. but then I think maybe I'm reading too much into this. Maybe he just really needs a friend right now, and with my boyfriend gone so much, he's just turning to me?

What do you guys think? Should I be concerned? I enjoy the friendship I have with this man, and so far he has not made any move on me. He is an attractive man, but not the kind of man I would get involved with, I and would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend who I love very much. My boyfriend works a lot, but he does it for us and our life together. He wants to get married soon as do I, and we have a beautiful future ahead of us. But everyone is starting to talk and wonder about this other man and I, and I'm worried it's going to start causing problems for everyone involved. I did get up the nerve to ask this man what he thinks about our friendship, and his reply was simply, "I don't care what other people think, we're close."

GUYS.. I would especially appreciate your comments. Would you act this way with a girl or woman you just wanted to be friends with? What if she was a very close friend, like a best friend?





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