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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months and everything is going great! Heís 23 and I am 20 yrs old. The only thing that concerns me is his anger. He has never been emotionally or physically abusive towards me, but he has been to himself. When he gets angry or frustrated he gets out of control. For example, he will pound the table repeatedly, punch the wall, punch himself in the face, and yell. The physical part of his anger episodes will last only for a few minutes, but they are still concerning. He has never acted like that as a result of me saying or doing something. The most heís done is yell at me, but it has only happened about once or twice. Iíve pointed it out to him many times and told him that it bothers me, but all he says is that he knows he has issues with controlling his temper and itís been a problem his whole life. He says itís a flaw in his personality, but that he never has and never will hurt anyone but himself. That is what concerns me, I donít want to see him hurt himself. Examples of things heís gotten made at are video games, roommates not cleaning, studying for the LSATS, etc. The level of anger he has shown as a result of these things is not normal. I understand that showing frustration and anger every once in awhile are normal, but the level of anger he shows is not, especially towards something so insignificant. How do I know that somewhere down the road he wonít get physical with me? What if I do something that frustrates him or angers him and he loses his temper? Is this behavior something to be concerned about?
I agree with you 100%, you do have reason to be worried both for your boyfriend and for yourself. What do you think you are going to do?
I understand your concern and you should feel that way. That kinda stuff can be scary especially if things get broken in his rages. I have always thought that as long as men hit other things and not the woman that it's ok. I have changed my thought on that. I am a man and have witnessed some minor abuse. I am not going to say your man will hit you..he may never do that. But to me it sounds like his anger is out of control....and when a person is out of control, sometimes they do things they would never do under normal circumstances. From what I know(and only on my visual exp) people with anger issues CAN hurt people they care about. That doesn't mean he will, but you should know about the possibilities. Anger management works for some people. For some people that I honestly know, it only makes the anger worse knowing they had to be humiliated by the course. I can only go on experience and I would see if he could see a pro about this a counselor. If it were me honestly, I would seek shelter with a family member at the start of anything like that. Don't try to fix it yourself because you won't. You need to protect yourself. Only my opinion like I said. I don't like woman beaters so I feel for ya. Good luck.
yes you WILL be a target at some point in the future if you stay with's not "if", it's "when"
he also has no concern about changing as he excuses it as just a flaw in his character....what he's saying is, that's just how I am.....
please get away from him, you're young, you have your whole life ahead of you....there are plenty of men who don't pound tables and punch holes in walls.....
he's not that great.....take a step back....what would you tell your best friend or younger sister if she was with a guy like this?
get out before you end up with a black eye or worse.....
you don't need this, his anger is his problem, not yours, don't make it can't fix him.

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