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Relationship Health Message Board

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months and everything is going great! Heís 23 and I am 20 yrs old. The only thing that concerns me is his anger. He has never been emotionally or physically abusive towards me, but he has been to himself. When he gets angry or frustrated he gets out of control. For example, he will pound the table repeatedly, punch the wall, punch himself in the face, and yell. The physical part of his anger episodes will last only for a few minutes, but they are still concerning. He has never acted like that as a result of me saying or doing something. The most heís done is yell at me, but it has only happened about once or twice. Iíve pointed it out to him many times and told him that it bothers me, but all he says is that he knows he has issues with controlling his temper and itís been a problem his whole life. He says itís a flaw in his personality, but that he never has and never will hurt anyone but himself. That is what concerns me, I donít want to see him hurt himself. Examples of things heís gotten made at are video games, roommates not cleaning, studying for the LSATS, etc. The level of anger he has shown as a result of these things is not normal. I understand that showing frustration and anger every once in awhile are normal, but the level of anger he shows is not, especially towards something so insignificant. How do I know that somewhere down the road he wonít get physical with me? What if I do something that frustrates him or angers him and he loses his temper? Is this behavior something to be concerned about?

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