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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

ok im 18 and i have really bad anxiety. i have a boyfriend of almost 1 year that i'm in love with. Last week I was supposed to drive my boyfriend and 3 friends down to a town thats 40 minutes away. I was so stressed about it since I had to drive the highway and missed paying two tolls.. Later that day when I brang my bf home, i complained to him telling him i feel weird. (i get depersonalization from time to time) 2 days before i felt like i needed space because me and my bf spend almost every day with each other. ever since last week, i've been feeling like things arent real, or things arent the same. i definately dont feel like myself. I started questioning my love for my boyfriend and have really bad anxiety over it. i cry all the time, especially with him. he tries to reassure me that everything will be ok so he is pretty understanding. when im with him, i cry if he kisses me. i dont want to have sex because i'll probably cry then. i want to, but i cant. i feel so heartbroken. how does that make sense?! i dont find anything fun anymore. i keep thinking about my boyfriend and feeling guilt. he's the best thing that has ever happened to me and told me he will love me no matter what i think. i dont want to fall out of love but my anxiety is so bad i have chest pains, i cant sleep well. i tell myself if i didnt love my boyfriend, i would break up with him, i wouldnt wanna kiss him and i wouldnt be so upset over this. yesterday we kissed a couple times and they were soft kisses, and i felt happy in that moment, or almost relaxed. im not sure what happened but it only lasted for 5 seconds and went away. my feelings must be deep down inside but its like something is blocking me from feeling them. i would do anything for my boyfriend. i want to be with him in the future and i cant imagine myself with anyone else. i told him i wanted to kill myself because its making me feel sick, and making me feel like im going crazy. what is wrong with me? im just a mess. is this just my anxiety? because if i really didnt love him, none of this would be such a big deal. I just need some reassurance and would like to see what you guys think. i just feel so depressed over this. i also take prozac. im on my 4th day so it should take 2-3 weeks to kick in. im also scared that my feelings wont be there if the pill does work. i dont want that to happen!! please help :(

*days before the anxiety blasted me, i felt so much love. now i almost feel like my emotions are dulled.. i literally feel like im going through a breakup/heartbreak and it just doesnt make sense.

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