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I am sooo confused
Oct 4, 2011
Well, good luck to anyone who reads this. I really appreciate you taking the time to help my sort through my crazy emotions. I have been dating this guy for about 8 months now and we are in college. We didn't say I love you until the 7th month and I said it first. He said it back, but rarely says it without a little coaxing first. Mind you, he isn't really the type to share his emotions openly. It has been like this since we first met and started talking. He has one girl friend who I get particularly jealous of. She is also one of my friends though. They were high school friends for about 5 years so I feel like I'm competing sometimes. Also, I find us running out of things to talk about sometimes and that's really starting to bother me, especially since all of his high school friends go to our school and they're always talking about something. I have never been diagnosed with depression or a panic disorder or anything, but lately I always feel anxious, nauseous, or just nervous and typically it's when we're not together. I know I love him but sometimes the lulls in conversation lead me to think it's just not meant to be. I don't want to break up with him, though. However, I worry that by staying in this relationship he may eventually dump me because he will want to try new things or something (especially since I'm his first girlfriend). Most of the time, when I get nervous, it's because I worry so much about the future. I worry that he's not "the one" and then I find myself feeling like I'm wasting time to find that special someone because I am with him. I have always felt like I would probably marry my best guy friend from home, but -and trust me I am embarrassed by how shallow this sounds- I am not attracted to him. And while I do believe that personality is the majority of a relationship, without attraction I find it hard to really like someone. I have been infatuated with my boyfriend since day 1 and I really would love to see some of this emotion reciprocated sometimes. Also, we took each other's virginities and sometimes I feel like that's why I am so attached. He is such a good guy and I know it would hurt to see him with another girl, but sometimes my gut tells me it's time to let go... I want to know what all this nervousness is about? Should I talk to him? What should I do?

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