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Relationship Health Message Board

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I am getting closer to giving up. I am 29 and had never had a girlfriend. I have had some flings and some short term stuff that was quite unsatisfying and only lasted while on alcohol. I have been through phases where I ask out alot of women, I have been through phases where I try to not go looking. I dont understand what the deal is with me, why am I soo undesirable? A big reason I think is deep down I dont feel like any girl wants me, mainly from all of the rejection. The thing is I typically have girls interested in me initially because I am decent looking I guess but it always seems to wear off. It has to be more with my personality.

I am short too though about 5'7and my hairline is receding so my luck is only slimming. I work out a bunch, am in good shape, have a good job, am working on a master's degree atm, am a pilot also. All of this stuff doesnt seem to matter..and at time I lose motivation because I feel like what is the point to all of this if I am at it alone? I know the height thing is a deakbreaker for a lot of girls As I get older it seems more difficult to make friends as well. The thing of it is I know a lot of ppl whom are less attractive, less ambitious and not even so great a personality that always have a gf and friends. I think I just have deep inner belief that I dont deserve it or something. Im gettin tired of it, I cant sleep.

Just wanted to add that I dont think I come across desperate or needy ever. I am pretty good at not 'wearing my heart on my sleeve' so to speak...and generally am confident in every other area of my life. A lot of days I dont let this get to me but sometimes it just hits me out of no where and I have temporary depressions where I get insomnia for several days. I dont talk about it ever, I dont whine, I beleive I appear to others as having my s*** togther and never appear emotional.

I do have a problem with not showing enough emotion and have built kind of a rejection defense mechanism of never putting myself to far foward..never really sticking my neck out so to speak..and maybe I need to start doing that again. It seems that when I do have a girl interested I will be so careful to no show to much interest that she wonders if I even like her...which seems to be good at first but it seems to wane after that. It just seems that anytime once a girl finds out that I am into here she loses all interest. It just makes me wonder If it is an ego thing for them..if they are just trying to get validation from me and would never actually want to date me. I feel like I have to have all of this value for them to be interested in me to make up for being short...and maybe is only y they are interested when I seem kind of mysterious.

I have literally become so jaded about this that I have no idea what to do. I feel like I have put forth quite an effort of the yrs, much more than most. Others just have what it takes I guess...and I am lost.

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