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Relationship Health Message Board

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Ok, from what I read here on this thread, I get the idea that I'm not ready for a relationship. A relationship requires total commitment and that's something I just can't pull off right now. But that got me thinking, why does it have to be so serious? I've never even been friends with a girl, I've never even had any friends at all, how would I handle a real girlfriend if I can't even make any friends. And I still don't get it, why don't I have any friends already. I know probably six people, one that I talk to almost every day, but still no friends. People seem to like me, They talk to me for the longest times, they just say things to me, like stuff they wouldn't say to just anyone off the street. Like the guy that I knew for the past year that I rent my business location from, he runs the music store and when I'm there we get into talking and joking around, sometimes for hours. Sometimes we get to talking and he stays 20 or 30 minutes past closing time (he is the owner). He tells me all kinds of stories that you wouldn't just tell anyone, and stuff about his business. Some of the things he told me are downright embarrassing and could be used against him, of course I would never do that but you get my point. I'm still trying to figure out how to get this to happen with women. Why can't I just skip all this relationship stuff and just hang out, why does it have to be so serious. Is there any hope for me to have a friend that happens to be a girl, or is that too childish for my age. I know I might be thinking a little naive, but that's just the way I am. I've been out of socializing since fifth grade, so in my mind I still feel I could just go and "fall into stuff" like a cool party (like the one going on next door to my house right now), and start talking to the people there, and maybe have some fun. Is the only reason for all this discussion just to minimize my chances of being embarrassed. So if I had no fear of embarrassment I might be an entirely different person, not a virgin who never kissed a girl, never went to a party, never had a friend, never been hired, never been fired. It's been hard keeping this up for this long, but I'm getting tired and just don't care about being embarrassed as much as I used to anymore. I guess all those nights of beer and writing might have paid off after all.

Oh by the way there really is a party going on next door, and it's 2:25 am. It's my new neighbors, who I haven't met. I don't mind it because I usually stay up to 4 am anyway. Their party is another reminder of how I can't so social stuff. I would love to walk over there and join them, but I can't. I wasn't invited, but I just never been to a party and am scared. I know that sounds stupid, but I don't want to embarrass myself, and there's women there that are drunk.

I just have a wish that things could be that simple.


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