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Relationship Health Message Board


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My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. I am 23. He can be a wonderful guy, but part of me really wants to break away from him because I don't know if he is going to be able to change some of the things I do not like about his lifestyle. He has some what of an alcohol problem, which often triggers me and brings me down with him. This is not where I want to be at in my life. I think at our ages, we should be past the partying stage. I want to be mostly sober,except during special, yet appropriate occasions. He wants to drink all the time.

He might ask if it is okay to go out while I stay in and sleep so I can get up for school, and I often say that it is as long as he does not wake me when he comes in. He always wakes me and I never get enough sleep. Recently, he came home drunk with some random guy I didn't know. It was 6 in the morning, an hour before I was supposed to wake up. I couldn't sleep so I got up a few minutes before they got in. Being in my own apartment, I was wearing underwear and an oversized t-shirt. I was pretty pissed when my bf's friend came in and saw me like that. They stayed there for around 15 minutes talking about each other's band equipment. When the other guy finally left, I chewed him out really bad. I may have over-reacted but I got so little sleep and was so angry at him.

Last night, or should I say this morning, he came in at 5:30 or so, puke drunk. Ran into things and could barely keep his balance. He stayed in the bathroom for about an hour. I thought he fell asleep on the toilet, as he has done before. Finally he came out and stumbled to the bedroom. I was on the couch because it feels better on my back (he told me he wouldn't wake me), so I really got very little sleep with all the noise. When I went to shower, I saw there was vomit in the toilet. My boyfriend is getting way too drunk all the time. He has not gone a whole week without in what I would guess is at least 2 years.

I am so sick of this. I do not want this in my life any more. Alcoholism runs in my family (grandparents) and being around him could be very bad for me. I do not know what to do. I know that his problem would become much worse if I left him, but my mental health and possible physical health is constantly jeopardized as it is.

Any advice is welcome.

Thanks.





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