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Thanks. My husband is really not thinking right, I don't think. When I was talking to him the other day about getting a job, he said, "Me?" I said, "Yeah, you!" And he said, "But I have to take care of [our daughter]." Wow, just wow. He takes her to daycare for half the day (he could take her for the whole day if he had a job), but he still isn't looking for a job. He blames my school schedule on it. Sure, right now is tough because I am working in the ER this month. But after this, it will be no problem for him to work (and it wouldn't have been now -- as we could've worked it out). He also says that he has to get an afternoon job because it's too hard to get our daughter ready in the morning. He still just doesn't get it. It's not too hard to get her ready in the morning. He is a bad parent in regard to structure and discipline. He says to our daughter, "Come on, let's change your diaper" while lying on the couch, or "Can I change your diaper?" What?? No way. I say, "[Daughter], it's time to change your diaper. Let's go." I'm not mean in any way. She lets me change it and there is no issue, but she gives him a hard time. Yet he doesn't get that it's because I'm straight to the point and tell her what's going on without taking her crap. But he won't change. He got frustrated last night when she was crying for a long time and he apparently kept telling her to stop crying, even though that is not what she needed to hear. She needed comfort and to be told it's okay to cry when she's sad. (She was crying because I wasn't there -- I had to work until midnight.) You don't get a sad kid to stop crying by getting agitated because they won't stop. You comfort them. It amazes me that this isn't instinctual. I know men like to fix everything, but sometimes you just have to think about what messages you are sending your kids. I felt bad for her because she told me "Daddy yelled at me for crying for you." He said he didn't yell, but I know he gets agitated. But it's because he has no instincts on this stuff and won't listen or change when something obviously isn't working. He thinks he cool because he's laid back -- but obviously she loves her mommy who acts like a mommy and not a friend. My job in life isn't to be her friend; it's to teach her right from wrong, and good from bad. And that emotions are okay and crying is okay. And that she is special and worthy of being treated well. I am not here, though, to appease her and let her do what she wants (which is where her father and his mother come in -- hmmmm, wonder how my husband and his sister learned it??).

I know this is a rant. I am sorry. I am just really frustrated because, not only does he not take responsibility, but he isn't being a good parent. He thinks he is, but he doesn't get it. He loves our daughter, and yes, she is challenging...but much less so when you know how to deal with her! And for goodness sakes, look for a job. I agree that he would feel better if he got a job, but if you don't look, you don't find.





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