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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Whoopee,

So glad you shared this with me. I can see how much of an issue getting laid off was for you and I'm glad things are improving. It sounds like you have made great progress in your depression and life in general. It is refreshing for a man to "step up" and get help. I know that sounds sexist, but I know quite a few guys who need help, but won't accept it.

I am not sure, but I get the feeling my husband sort of wanted to get fired. I'm not sure, but I feel like you would do what you need to do to keep your job for your family if you didn't want to be fired. And it's not like they were asking a lot -- just to get to work on time (9 a.m. by the way...not even that early). So it just makes me realize that he's either 1) a loser and can't take any responsibility for his actions or 2) depressed and can't see how this all affects his family. I am hoping for 2, since it's treatable. I really don't think I'd have married a loser. :)

My therapist had my husband fill out a "passive style" questionnaire and an "assertive style" questionnaire. I'm surprised I got him to do it, but he did. My husband is clearly very passive and not assertive at all. He procrastinates. He is sometimes passive aggressive. It showed that even my husband does not know what he is feeling at all, which makes it difficult for him to communicate without anger at times. He really needs help. He is a miserable person. I told my therapist today that my husband says he will die at age 38 (he's 34 now). He doesn't have any suicidal ideation, but he says he is "just waiting to die." I feel like that is no way to live around your wife and children.

As someone who has been seriously depressed in the past and struggles with anxiety all the time, I have a heart for people with mental illness/issues. I love my husband, but I can't do anything if he won't get help. I don't know how much longer I can sit by and wait for him to become even more miserable and angry.

My life has been filled with so many traumatic issues. All my parents/grandparents were dead by the time I was 30 (my mom when I was 12). I was abused by my bipolar father. And on and on. I don't need to go through it all, but suffice it to say that I have overcome great obstacles fairly unscathed (at least to the naked eye). My struggles with anxiety and chronic worry are still here, but I am working on them.

I just don't see how someone can't want to improve their life to be happy. I am really upset by all of this and hope that we can overcome it.





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