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Relationship Health Message Board

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theres a lot of reading here but i really need help so please take the time. thanks

so me and my girlfriend had a huge fight biggest ever about 4-5 days ago. she ended up coming to my house after she said she REALLY needed space. i finally gave her the space she needed and she ended up ringing my doorbell 30 mins later. we cried and hugged for a good 5 minutes straight without budging. but i still get the sense that she love me as much as she says she does. and if i ever question her love for me she gets mad. but she never says "i love you" to me. she used to every single time i did. each phone call ended with i love you. now i say it and she just says bye.
the problem is a fight we had about a month ago forced her to look into other guys immediately because she was just so insecure and her feelings were just going insane. i cought her meeting with a guy at her work that she met on facebook just one day beforehand. she said he was just helping.
i never did anything to make her want another guy it seems every time this happens its her choice to do it. shes not just mad and doing it because of that its almost like thats what she really wants. for about the last 6 out of 11 months we've been together she has ended our relationship about 5 times and we kissed and made up each time.

why is she so quick to make these decisions? especially since we are ENGAGED. she never seemed to take that maturely since i proposed to her. (we are 18/19yrs old)

the guy she met on facebook i continually see her texting on her phone and she tries hiding it right in front of my face. i dont know who is starting each conversation but it worries me SICK and im very jealous. i am VERY protective of my girlfriend and i just wont let her go for anything. i try doing EVERYTHING i can to keep us happy.

another thing that drives me insane is that since we started dating her ex has been in the picture. first she said she hated him. he wouldnt leave her alone. 8-9 months later she is talking to him regularly in text and he keeps trying to come see her in person. i told her to stop talking to him PLEASE and she didnt even though she "hated" him.

my biggest concern is im worried i am wasting my time. im worried for our future because i am deeply in love with this girl and i want to seriously spend the rest of my life with her but i dont know how to approach her with my concerns. i think she will get upset and just leave me right off the bat. shes quick to react like that, always has been. im worried she will leave me any chance she gets in order to be with one of those two idiots^... :(

earlier today she sent me a text basically saying if i dont get a job within the next month or two she just cant be with me because she wants a guy who can support her. the thing is i have paid for literally EVERYTHING that we do together. AND i pitch in for half of all her shopping. SHE has a job and a 5,000 dollar bank account and im still paying for all this and she still wants more. how am i not supporting her to the fullest? i had a VERY part time job that gave me money here and there and i sell a lot of car parts to make money in the meantime.

now i know not having a job at 19 years old is kind of sad and yeah in a relationship its needed but is not having a job really worth leaving the person you said you loved, dated for 11 months got engaged to and planned on moving in together with?

we talk fine and we are getting better since our last arguement but today she just hit me in the face with the job thing. and i also think she may be wanting me to get one so she has time on the side to do things when im working.......

please help me.. any advice or input will help.. im very down on myself right now and i just cant stand the feeling of losing this girl.. i love her so much.

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