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Re: Turmoil
Nov 26, 2011
Pick the latter, or take a lover. But NOT the man from your work. As previous posters have said, ad nauseum, work relationships suffer on all fronts when romance and sex get tangled in there.

If your husband is not normal and you've "tried everything" (though you haven't mentioned whether you'd had the "throwing your cards down on the table" conversation), then you need to cut your losses and leave.

However, if you haven't had the big conversation yet - and you cannot beg or plead! - you need to show that you are in control of yourself and your emotions.

Tell him straight out that you will leave or take a lover if he doesn't start working with you on this. Generally, men will respond to bluntness. If he doesn't look like he's trying, you need to make good on your decision, whichever one it will be. To not do so tells him that you're OK with him neglecting you and he'll keep right on doing so.

As for the Desperately Wanting To Have Sex with a particular person who is not your partner, it happens. There's a guy I know from work who triggers every sex bone in my body, from his voice when we're talking to the way he smells. However, I know that while I'm intensely physically attracted to him, I know he is not compatible with me in other ways, just because I have known him for several years, despite the fact I think he's a great guy other wise. I clamp down on my self-control, then channel the arousal and go home and sex my boyfriend.

Unfortunately, you don't have that option. But it doesn't make you weird or bad if that happens to you.

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