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Re: Turmoil
Nov 22, 2011
hi Escape, as usual Kszan has made excellent points a she always does. all con's as apposed to any pros? of which I can't think of any! I can however give you a perspective from a husband who has had to endure this situation.

my wife and I met in August 1977, she was renting an apartment upstairs from her parents at the time and worked close to he home. after a few months she moved in with me to my own house about 70 miles from her work, cause the commute was too long. she began working for a temp. agency, and usually was sent to jobs local to my house. eventually, she was offered a permanent position at a company about 25 minutes away, she took that job and enjoyed the work and people there. we lived together 3 years before getting married in 1980 I was doing my own home improvement work at the time, had been for the 3 years, everything was fine, we were happy when we married. after the first year of our marriage, she started coming home from work telling me jokes some guy from work (Bill) had told her. I thought this was inappropriate, don't know if he was a new hire or was there when she started? but it seemed like every day she came home she had to mention bill. in some way. she was seeming distant to me, I couldn't figure out why? the intimacy slowed or stopped, the talking kind of seemed out of sort? not stopping, but not the same as had been. she came home one Friday after work and asked if I minded if she went to a party with some friends from work? we didn't argue over it but I didn't want her to go. she just said she'd call then to say she couldn't make it. and seemed upset but okay. the after a couple weeks, maybe one? she'd get home on Friday after work, pack a bag and tell me she's going here or there? with friends from work and be home Sunday. this went on a few weekends, during which time the phone bill came in. the next weekend she did the same, I looked up the number she'd called saying she couldn't make it to that party, a man answered, I asked if she was there? "he worked with my wife but didn't know her really" but guess who he was? Bill! well, when she got home on Sunday night, everything she had moved into my house in the beginning was piled up on the front porch of the house. when she pulled in, I loaded it all into her car including her wedding gown, and told her she could take her stuff and her son and go back wherever she'd been spending the weekends? she talked me into letting her stay that night and we would "talk" Monday after work. the "talk" seemed to be worked out till the weekend then again she was gone till Sunday. this time she told me she needed to leave for a while, was going to stay with an old girlfriend who I did know and she did stay there a while, but the driving her son to school every morning, then driving to work, then doing it backwards every afternoon to pick him up was too much. she wanted to find her own place closer to my house, where he could ride the bus and not change schools. within weeks, she found a house trailer for rent, straight across the field/road from my house just past an Amish farmers corn field. that could be seen from my front door after the corn was cut down. she moved into the trailer on New Years day 1982. by March, guess who was living with her? good old Bill! now, I never ever stopped loving my wife, Bill was a traveling tech. for the company they worked for he traveled often all over the world. not sure if he was married when they got together or not? he had two kids with his wife, even if divorced? he knew my wife was married. they both forgot one simple rule! "cheating is a character trait" it's not an accident! "if they'll cheat with you? chances are pretty good they'll cheat on you! cause they know it's in your character to cheat! it wasn't long before she found out he was cheating on her while in France or any other place he went for work a week or more at a time? she finally kicked him out, long story short, I never came close to stop loving my wife. after a while we got back together, and renewed our wedding vows on our fifth anniversary date, we've been married now just over 31 years counting the 3 we were separated. I'll admit she hurt me and hurt me bad, but we now have a good marriage and I did learn to trust her to a great extent, probably never completely? I'll also admit at the time my work was sporadic, make good money one month next maybe none? or months at a time not much! she needed security and stability. I'll except my lack of responsibility in that regard. and I love this woman with all I have. but, she lost something from me she-probably will never ever get back though I'll never intentionally hurt her in any way! my belief in her character and integrity, is shot? she's a good woman but has her flaws I guess I can live with that. it's a learned trait she got from her father who's had several affairs? while in the service? her parents have been married 65 years now, in fact today is my wife's 64th birthday.

enough rambling! if nothing else I say means anything? remember this! "pleasure is fleeting, character and integrity are everlasting" it's all in the perception of how people see you not one act or any good deed you've done?

think it over very carefully, if you act on this? a few people are very likely to be hurt and hurt bad, including you!

how do you want people to remember you? it's your decision to make!

personally I'd let him out of your mind. up to you.

good luck and god bless

Larry/coupe...... happiness is wanting what you have

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