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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


It does sound like there are issues to work out with your fiance, but it is also important that you have other sources of social contact than him.

Having a couple of girlfriends to shoot the breeze with several days per month/week will do remarkable things to how much things bother you with your boyfriend (usually, if you have other social outlets, you will become less dependant on the one you had at first - and this is a GOOD thing - it will give you and your fiance more freedom and you'll probably be less bothered when he's not around all the time.)

I know you say you don't like hanging out with other girls, and I can understand that feeling (I share it myself sometimes), but think about it this way: Since you don't like the gossipy types, there [I]are[/I] other women who are the same way and don't like them either. Bit tricky to find sometimes, because they're not usually out at stereotypically girly places, but they exist.

Since you have social anxiety, I would say start somewhere more low-risk, like online-forums related to an interest you have, or start looking for people to talk to at school (maybe someone who sits near you in class) that you've already met.

However, back to the fiance - you may have to alter the way you address him in order to make him understand how you're feeling. It's not good when someone shuts you down like that, but I've had experiences in the past with boyfriends like that - they're not bad men, but they don't get the more emotional views on things.

One thing I found that helped is when something bothered me, I'd write it down or make lists. Then I'd stick them in a drawer for a day or two and see if the issue still bothered me after a couple days. If it did, I'd take the paper to the Boyfriend at the time.

Initially, he was rather put off by it ("Why can't you just TELL me?"), but after a few tries, I managed to get through to him that this way, I could be sure that it was a solid issue I had and that I wouldn't get as emotional about it if it was written down and I wouldn't get distracted or upset by his attempts to debate with me over it.

We eventually broke up for other reasons, but it did help somewhat.





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