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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hi all

My girlfriend (of 6 months) and I get along fine for the most part, however we have the same old problem which cannot seem to be resolved due to communication breakdown. This problem is her male friend.

She has known this guy for about 5 or 6 years. I have met him a couple of times and he seems like a nice guy. However, the problem is their contact level is beyond what I consider normal for a male/female friendship or any friendship for that matter. As far as I can tell he text messages my girlfriend daily, nothing flirty, just “how's your day going” kind of thing. At night my girlfriend goes on Facebook and you can guarantee they are chatting. Shee posts a comment on FB, he likes it instantly, she changes a profile picture, or adds some pictures, he is busy instantly liking things. (we dont live together, but I do notice this stuff).

I have observed them together and seen the odd message they send, it seems all childish communication, lots of smiley faces for everything. I would think this guy was gay if I didn't know better. He has never had a girlfriend, and he cannot because of strict religious parents. I feel like my girlfriend is his substitute girlfriend.

Before I started dating my girlfriend, I knew her briefly and saw that some guy was messaging her a a lot (this guy), I questioned her when we agreed to start dating, she said this guy is/was/ and will only ever be a friend and was grossed out by the suggestion.

When we started dating, they saw each other about once a week, often alone or with some of his male friends. (who are now her friends) As we got more serious they see each other now about once every 3 weeks. Its always public settings, but this guy is always taking her some place amazing. My girlfriend has started to involve me more amongst the things with this guy. But, she says she also wants her away from me time with friends which I understand. I like my time apart too. However, he invites her to just “hang out” then says “hey we are going sky diving.” I feel like I compete with this guy to take my girlfriend anywhere new or great. I worry every day about where he is going to take her next because this is stuff I want to share with my girl. My girlfriend just says that we will do it together another time and that its no big deal. However, I am constantly trying to think of things that I want to do and tell my girlfriend in advance because sure as anything he will be trying to take my girlfriend to that new show, movie etc.

I don't mind male female friendship, I have female friends, but I do not speak to them on a daily basis. They are too close for my liking. My girlfriend makes me number 1, we see each other almost every day (we dont live together), talk on the phone every night.....but I feel like this guy is a pest. I just know that when she is with me most of the day there is a message sitting in her phone from this guy.

I told my girlfriend this guy doesn't sit right with me. My girlfriend says, they are friends and that's it.... I don't doubt it. But, tomorrow they are spending the whole day together alone. Lunch, hanging out (probably doing something amazing) dinner and concert and it just doesn't feel good. I just feel like he needs to get a girlfriend.

My girlfriend thinks there is no problem and that I am worrying about nothing. But to me this a problem that needs fixing, I am just waiting for him to purchase a holiday for her to go on. How does my girlfriend and I meet in the middle on this?

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