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Relationship Health Message Board


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Wow, getting up to see all these replies has really made me feel a lot better this morning - thanks everyone. I tried to clear the air with my boyfriend last night before we went to sleep (I hate going to sleep on an argument!) but I can tell he is really hacked off with me. I think he thinks I've been hiding how I feel all along from him, which isn't exactly true.

[QUOTE=rosequartz;4890237]the next time your racist friend says something that doesn't sit well with you it would be good if you could respond in a "non-challenging" way......(if possible), to at least make your opinion known.
good luck[/QUOTE]

I think this is good advice Rosequartz... I realise I don't need to start banging on the table and getting angry with him, rather just stay in control of my emotions and do a kind of 'I don't really agree with what you're saying because..." or maybe even "can you explain what you mean by that?"

[QUOTE=Kszan;4890302]I have some friends with whom I don't agree politically and I have even more friends with whom I don't agree religiously (namely they are atheist and I'm not). [/QUOTE]

Absolutely, me too. I have some very good friends of a different religion and some with political persuasions very different to mine... but we always respect each other because as you say, theres no changing them. The thing is, other people's religious beliefs don't offend me... but this guy's views do. :(

[QUOTE=trystme;4890376]And think about this: This couple has clung to you guys. Do they not have anyone else to hang out with or have they ostracized everyone else? You can't be the first to notice the racists remarks.[/QUOTE]

I can't believe I never even thought of that, trystme. They do have other friends they see besides us and have introduced us to a couple of them... but I do think they hang out with us the most and though me and my bf are super fun (lol) sometimes I do wonder why they are so keen on us! You're right, we can't be the first to notice.

[QUOTE=Pittsburgh_Flye;4890364]That or these people are bringing out a side of him you didn't know until he was in the company of the same like-minded people...[/QUOTE]

This is the thing at the back of my mind unnerving me most and I think that, if he was of the same opinion as me, I would be able to do as Kszan suggested and just accept they are different to us in that respect. I really hope that isn't the case because I know I couldn't accept those views from him and its that thats making me feel quite alone in a country where I really don't have anyone to back me up if I don't have him.





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