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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hello. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 22. We have been going out for 3 years and in these three years we have been through a lot.

I dated a guy for 4 years who was a liar and abusive. I got out of that thank god and when I met my boyfriend I warned him I have trust issues due to my old relationship so just dont screw up with me.

I started a clean slate with him and we were great. Three months in he got depressed and was seeing therapists and stuff. He hated everything including our relationship. He didnt know if he loved me anymore because he had no feelings from the depression. I stuck with him and a year later he got better. This kind of put my trust and self esteem down the drain since I had been going out with someone who didnt know if they liked me but I tried looking at it as he did love me he was just depressed.

Once he was better we tried moving on from it and he started to do this thing where he would go out at night and get so drunk he would forget to tell me he made it home safe. Than I found out he would get drunk and call this girl I knew at 5am on his drunk nights out. He claims there was no reason for this but honestly how could he just call her for no reason at 5am. Than a month after this he was hanging with my guy friends and put his phone number in a girls phone when she went to use the bathroom (she was dating one of the guys that were there) Than he continued to text her all night and pissed off the boyfriend of the girl. He texted her during the week also. My guy friends told me because they felt bad he was doing this to me and the girl called me to tell me too that she was finding it weird he was talking to her (he didnt even tell her he had a girlfriend) So now I confront my boyfriend and his excuse is that he was drunk and it was stupid but no reason for it. So why would he text her days after the drunk night out if it meant nothing?

I found this all to be because of his drinking but if you love someoene no matter how bad you get you dont do that right? So he agreed to minimize his drinking...UNTIL we went out together to a bar. He got drunk n I couldnt find him. Two hrs later I see him dancing w a girl he claims was his friends gf. I got so angry that i couldnt find him on our night out and hes dancing w her. So I smacked him n started yelling (that is not me! I just have no trust for him now) He left the bar n didnt call me for 7 hrs. No one could find him because he drove drunk to some party. Do I believe that I do not know.

Once again he promised to stop drinking so much and than in the last 3 months hes gotten wasted at weddings and bachelor parties.

My issue is that I do not trust him. He says he has never cheated and loves me so much. He does so much for me though he comes over so much and gets me little gifts and always says nice things to me. We have so much fun together ...I know he loves me but he acts like a child! hes a 22 years old Police officer and his mom pays his bills and cleans his room for him. Thats anoying to me. He has no desire to do things which is his moms fault for still doing it.

He doesnt get why I wont trust him when he doesnt make mistakes for a month. TRUST TAKES SO LONG TO REGAIN! Especially when he keeps screwing up. Am I wrong? Do I over react to this stuff? I have never cheated and never will. I am always there for him but I am just so sick of this. I love him and I know he loves me but hes just stupid. Is it worth it to break up or is every guy pretty much this way in their own way. I really need advice bc Im tired of this!





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