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Hi Guy,

Pleeaase don't worry about being a 'good boyfriend'. That is so subjective. Your idea of 'good boyfriend won't ever be the same as her idea of 'good boyfriend'. It just sets you up for failure. People deserve relationships where we are accepted for ourselves, with both our weaknesses and strengths. First we have to be accepting and understanding of ourselves.

Think about it. is she acting like [U]your[/U] friend? I think it is extremely immature to put guilt trips on you for leaving her alone when asked to do so, bad talk you to friends, have them chastise you, and to blame you for her own over-reactiveness. Really she is acting like a petulant child. You can only expect more of the same in future if you give in to this behavior. I suspect this isn't the first time you have given in to her emotionalism and demands. No, how she reacted isn't normal, and you are not responsible for how she is acting. It seems like a mental problem, and no, you cannot do anything to make it better. We cannot control other people's thoughts or emotions or choices.

I'm not saying you do everything just right. Life has disappointments and mistakes. I don't know you or her. I do know behavior, though. She is being unreasonable. I am a woman. I guarantee you that you cannot make someone like this happy or get her respect or make her content with you no matter what you do. Please, you do not deserve to be manipulated or looked down upon. I suggest that you take this time to assess if this kind of behavior is what [U]you[/U] really want. No one deserves to be abused for misunderstandings or what was really no one's fault. No one deserves to be attacked for any reason.

I can understand her feeling upset to have to deal with the hives, as after all, ideally, in a perfect world, you would have told the florist of her allergy. But it is not like you are a florist and would think like a florist that this is a time of year when pine is normally added to floral arrangements. I only know that by learning from experience. If you chose from a picture, really the florist should not have taken it upon herself to substitute greenery without asking you if it was acceptable. But this still is commonly done, because what is available to florists depends on the seasons of the year.

So, for her to involve her friends against you shows extreme disrespect of you. Since you apologized and showed remorse for what happened to her, that's all you could do, and she is responsible to deal with how she feels about it. If she changed her mind and she wanted to see you, it was up to her to tell you. I think you should stay away from her and don't discuss it with her further. It is likely to only keep escalating, because she clearly wants to blame and scapegoat you.

Respect yourself first and others will respect you. Those that don't will leave you alone, and you don't need anyone that disrespects you. Life is hard enough as it is. It is better to find true friends than to subject yourself to immature put downs and manipulation. Think about it...is this what you want modeled to your own future son? If she does this to you, she will do it to your prodigy.

If she can't [U]on her own[/U] recognize and apologize to you for her extreme over reaction, it is better to leave her out of your life. There are many beautiful ladies out there, more than there are available men. Don't discuss, try to change it or argue about it. Just leave her alone as she had asked you to. The anguish she is causing you isn't worth it.
If she realizes her mistake on her own and admits it to you is time enough to get back together, IF you are still available by then.

Believe this: A guy that truly is a good boyfriend deserves a good girlfriend. Her behavior isn't a good girlfriend. :nono:





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