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I met my boyfriend in June, we started dating in July and by the end of July we were exclusive. We met each other's friends and families. We spent almost all of our free time together. We are both 26. The whole relationship was his doing, the meeting families, becoming exclusive, etc. My boyfriend was married before we got together, had only been single for 2 months. I was cautious at first because I ddin't know if he was truely over his ex, but he made me feel happy and I trust him completely so those negative thoughts soon went away. Things were going very well.

At the end of September I left on vacation for a week. When I got back I was so excited to go over and see him, but something had changed. He didn't seem to care. I was so hurt and confused because things couldn't have been better at the time I left. When I went over and saw him things were good. Nothing was different in his actions towards me and conversation was good too. However in the following weeks after that he was very distant. He was still initiating texts everyday to ask how I was and what I was doing, etc. But we were only seeing each other once, maybe twice a week. I chalked this up to him going through the freak-out phase, so I began to back off too, doing my own thing. But it wasn't changing anything and it had been a couple of days since I had heard from him at all. I gave in and finally sent him a text that said we need to talk. He responded by texting back "ya, I don't want to hurt you if I'm not ready so soon." I took that as him telling me he didn't want a relationship anymore. I completely cut off all contact and I was heartbroken. A week went by and I was starting to feel happy again. Don't get me wrong I was still missing him and I wanted nothing more than to be with him because there was no reason other than timing that our relationship shouldn't work out. But I started going out with friends and was moving on. Then he text me. Asked me how I was, etc. The conversation was short and I ended it. Heard from him again one day later. The texts started to be more frequent. He even asked me to come over, but I said no to that. The texts continued and he started to tell me things like "just thinking about you." He asked me again to come over and I said no. Then he text me a third time on a Sunday and asked if we could hang out at some point. I finally gave in and said yes.

We talked about what we had been up to and things were great. Like nothing had changed. We laughed and had fun. The conversation was kept pretty light, but it was good. I didn't ask him what was going on or anything serious. I was trying to figure things out myself and honestly didn't even know what I wanted to say to him. After that he continued to text me and I went over again once more. At this point I was concerned about what this was exactly, I was wondering if he was only using me for one thing, but I still didn't ask. Then Thanksgiving came and he invited me to spend it with him and his family (I was so surprised and happy he asked me). I already had plans with my family, but I did make it over to his grandpas in the evening and spent about 2 hours with them. Then I went home with my boyfriend. This confused me more, because now I was wondering, does this mean he doesn't just want sex from me? Did he realize he did want to be with me?

We continued to text and spend time together after that. He is in the military and they have drill one weeked a month. He text me the weekend he had drill and asked me to come to the family christmas party they have. (I went to a bbq with him when we were first together, when he told me about it, he said they have this family bbq, "or girlfriend", and he wanted me to come). I ended going out to the xmas party. I also took this as a very good sign that he invited me.

Since then things have continued to go well. However, we have not gone on any actual dates (we hadn't really gone on a lot of dates since July anyway so I don't know if that really means anything).

I still haven't ever said what is this now... or where is this going... or any "talk" sort of thing because honestly I am afraid it will just push him away. Things are going well, so a huge part of me just wants to see where things go, no pressure. I am just so afraid he is going to pull away again. this in turn makes me more reserved when I am with him. I don't initiate anything, not hugging, kissing, and I tend to pull away. I also rarely text him first. I am just afraid to put myself out there, because I am afraid it will push him away. I know I should be able to communicate these things to him, but I already suck at communicating feelings in general and since things are good I don't want to mess up a good thing. Any thoughts or advice would be great. Thanks for taking the time to read this!

Note: Some people think texting is immature and that means we must not be that close. But texting is how my age group communicates 99% of the time. I personally hate the phone and my boyfriend knows this, he does call to talk sometimes (more so in the beginning). But this is our normal way of communicating.





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